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Is it acceptable for Jews or those who live a Jewish lifestyle to become bachelors? I know of the New Testament verses that inspire my view but am wondering if Jews are commanded to marry and have children?

Lee
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Neil Meyer
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  • You use the word "become". Do you mean "intentionally remain"? – Lee Jul 22 '15 at 10:40
  • Does it make a difference? Explain it to me please. – Neil Meyer Jul 22 '15 at 10:45
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    One is born a bachelor, Neil Meyer. cc @Lee – msh210 Jul 22 '15 at 12:48
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    Similar: http://judaism.stackexchange.com/q/8175 – msh210 Jul 22 '15 at 12:51
  • Possible dupe: https://judaism.stackexchange.com/q/43579/8775. Asks how far long one can push off marriage. The answer may be indefinitely which would answer the question, or the answer might be a time limit which would also answer this question. Either way, any answer to that would answer this. – mevaqesh Sep 27 '17 at 19:59
  • @meva that is not the standard of a duplicate. – Yishai Sep 28 '17 at 00:58
  • @Yishai Please link to related FAQ or meta post. – mevaqesh Sep 28 '17 at 01:10
  • @mevaqesh https://judaism.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1339/duplicate-answers-on-different-questions – Yishai Sep 28 '17 at 01:16
  • @Yishai Dont see anything relevant. That is about whether a question is a dupe because an answer there happens to answer it. In this case, any answer to question B is by definition an answer to A. As A is merely a subset of B. – mevaqesh Sep 28 '17 at 01:18
  • @mevaqesh, being a subset is a standard about being a duplicate. But this question is not a subset of the other one any more than the example at the link. But "any answer to that would answer this" is not the standard. – Yishai Sep 28 '17 at 01:23
  • Ignore the title on the other question, that question is asking about pushing marriage off, not about never getting married. – Yishai Apr 12 '19 at 13:58
  • @Yishai https://judaism.meta.stackexchange.com/q/3507/ – DonielF Apr 12 '19 at 15:15
  • @DonielF, one isn't broader than the other. One questions putting off marriage, other questions the need to get married at all. The first assumes you have to get married, the second asks about that assumption. They also come from completely different perspectives and no one can reasonably expect the other question to elicit an answer about why there is an obligation to marry at all, nor can you expect this question to discuss what age to marry. – Yishai Apr 12 '19 at 17:30

2 Answers2

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The general answer is no it is not acceptable. Marrying and having children is a personal obligation of every Jewish man. Even if a man has the required number of children, or is unable to have children, in Judaism he is still required to get married (to help him avoid sins of a sexual nature). (Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer 1:1 and 1:8)

However, there is one exception. If someone is so drawn to Torah learning and their bachelor status will not lead them to sin they can learn Torah instead. This is under the rubric of one who is busy fulfilling one commandment is exempt from fulfilling others. This is considered highly exceptional and not encouraged at all. (ibid. 1:4)

Either way, marriage in Judaism is not considered a "compromise" or an "allowance." It is considered a good thing, that fulfills a religious requirement, that fulfills a very important commandment of "be fruitful and multiply" among other things.

For further reading (under the heading "The Marital Relationship").

LiquidMetal
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Yishai
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  • I would add the Rambam Hilchos Ishus 15:3 which uses a loshon of bedieved meaning there is no sin,but still shouldn't be done – sam Jul 22 '15 at 11:28
  • And there may be people who just aren't cut out for marriage. But generally, marriage and parenthood are the right move. – Shalom Jul 22 '15 at 13:23
  • @Shalom, indeed there are. That would be under the category of Oneis - for reasons out of the person's control, they can't get married, which can apply to all sorts of Mitzvos. The Ben Azzai situation isn't understood to be that, though. – Yishai Jul 22 '15 at 13:29
  • This is the Rambam:ג מי שחשקה נפשו בתורה תמיד, ושגה בה כבן עזאי, ונדבק בה כל ימיו, ולא נשא אישה--אין בידו עוון: והוא, שלא יהיה יצרו מתגבר עליו; אבל אם היה יצרו מתגבר עליו--חייב לישא אישה, ואפילו היו לו בנים, שמא יבוא לידי הרהור. – sam Jul 22 '15 at 13:32
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    @Yishai agreed. Some have even argued that we could apply the halachic argument of "if the lulav costs more than 25% of my net worth I don't have to buy it" if any marriage would be incredibly difficult for this person. (I doubt it would be for his wife either, in that case.) The Ben Azai case is "I could be a good husband but I'd rather focus exclusively on study", which we theoretically can allow begrudgingly in rare circumstances. – Shalom Jul 22 '15 at 14:39
  • Great answer, I would add that the Tur (as well as other Rishonim) ascribe an additional reason for marriage, "not being alone, and having a partner in life," which would be a goal in itself, regardless of "help[ing] him avoid sins of a sexual nature." – termsofservice Sep 27 '17 at 21:09
  • @Yishai Can you point anywhere in the Talmud that one, a rabbi or a Jew, for example, is required to be married? Is the word "obligation" and "requirement" the same thing? I read your answer and you say it is an obligation, whereas on a different thread the answer is, in the Talmud, there is no requirement for a rabbi to be married. – ninamag Apr 12 '19 at 05:28
  • @ninameg, Obligation would mean one has to get married according to Judaism. Requirement in your sense is that in order to hold the position they have to have gotten married, or currently be married, rather than be working on it (trying to find someone, etc.). The only person who is required to be married to hold their position in Judaism (AFAIK) is the Kohein Gadol on Yom Kippur. – Yishai Apr 12 '19 at 13:52
  • @Yishai thank you. Where can I read that in regards to, "The only person who is required to be married to hold their position in Judaism (AFAIK) is the Kohein Gadol on Yom Kippur." – ninamag Apr 12 '19 at 14:19
  • @ninamag, I guess start here: https://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/33333/how-does-the-kohein-gadols-substitute-wife-work or here: https://www.sefaria.org/Mishnah_Yoma.1.1?lang=bi&with=all&lang2=en – Yishai Apr 12 '19 at 14:43
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In addition to the great answer by the user Yishai:

There is a mitzvah incumbent on every human being to be "fruitful and multiply" in the wording of Genesis 1:28, and is the first command to mankind in the Torah. Thus it not only is a mitzvah for a Jewish man to get married, but it is also a mitzvah for a non-Jew to get married!

See this article and this video lecture for more on the topic.

ezra
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  • Why the downvote? – ezra Sep 27 '17 at 20:35
  • It's not clear gentiles are obligated in that mitzva. It's certainly not one of the classical 7. See too https://judaism.stackexchange.com/a/1116/759 Incidentally the mitzva of pru urvu doesn't necessitate marriage per se. – Double AA Sep 27 '17 at 20:43
  • While I didn't downvote, one might interpret that as a blessing; not a commandment (for Jews or non-Jews). Citing halakhic sources that interpret it thusly would improve the post. – mevaqesh Sep 27 '17 at 20:44
  • @mevaqesh - Actually, although the passuk says "And G-d blessed them, saying" the word פרו ("be fruitful") is in the imperative. – ezra Sep 28 '17 at 01:46
  • אבן עזרא בראשית שיטה אחרת - פירוש פרק א פרו ורבו היא ברכה. והעתיקו חכמינו (קדושין לה, א), כי פריה ורביה מצוה ושמו זה הכתוב לזכר ולאסמכתא, כאשר פירשתי בתחלת זאת הפרשה The perils of (nearly) unsourced answers: you never know when something is more complex. – mevaqesh Sep 28 '17 at 03:02