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A Jew is marrying a non-Jew who converted in a Reform synagogue. The Chuppah will be held in a Reform synagogue and the party (dinner/dance) will be in a non-religious venue.

Is there any reason why an Orthodox, Halakhah-observant family member should not come to such a ceremony and/or party? Kashrut will be adhered to.

Lee
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Francis Katz
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    I attempted to make the question more on-topic by making it more generic and less of a request for personal advice. Please correct my correction if it drastically changed your initial intent. – Lee Jan 08 '17 at 15:43
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    Kosher food may not help as accd to the Orthodox Halakhic perspective this is essentially not a Jewish wedding (YD 152) – Double AA Jan 08 '17 at 15:47
  • I'm closing because it conflates two common cases that happen to coincide in the OP's case but normally will not: Reform wedding in a Reform temple but with kosher food on one hand, and a Reform wedding in a Reform temple of a Reform-converted person on the other. – msh210 Jan 08 '17 at 17:02
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    @msh210 why is this any different than many multi faceted questions on this site which require two or more points to be addressed in the answer? – user6591 Jan 08 '17 at 17:18
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    @user6591 As msh said, they are unrelated other than both happening to have happened to the OP. – Double AA Jan 08 '17 at 17:24
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    @Double I think the question stands as is, as stated in the title. This is one of those details that someone uninformed has chosen to add to the question so it can be properly addressed. It might make it more complicated (or less complicated) but can one attend this wedding? – user6591 Jan 08 '17 at 17:51
  • @user6591 While the extra details may have well intentioned, they can still make the question too broad, and need to be pared n. And for good reasons we don't ignore the body of the post in favor of the title. – Double AA Jan 08 '17 at 19:05
  • Possible duplicate of Orthodox Visits to Other Denomination Sanctuaries – sabbahillel Jan 09 '17 at 17:37

1 Answers1

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There are a number of reasons not to attend such a ceremony (which is invalid to begin with). I am separating out different reasons, each of which is enough to make it wrong to attend. Since I am writing this edit on Purim, I will point out that even if it is kosher, it is like the Jews attending the celebration of Achashveros.

As explained in Orthodox Visits to Other Denomination Sanctuaries Rav Moshe is cited as having stated that one cannot go to a wedding in a Reform Temple (especially if it takes place in the sanctuary as opposed to a social hall). This applies even if this is supposed to be between two Jews. Additionally, if the person officiating is a reform or Conservative rabbi it would probably not be valid either (even if not in a Reform venue as sapecified in the question).

The second part (Reform conversion) can be addressed by pointing out that the convert is not Jewish and this is like going to any other intermarriage of a Jew and a nonJew. An example of this question is Intermarriage Attendance as well as Invited to Engagement of Girl intending to marry out: Attend/Not-attend?.

These point out that even an "engagement party" should not be attended because it appears as if one is accepting such a "marriage". As shown in A People of Destiny

Against this background of destiny and identity many halachic social constraints on Jewish-gentile relations can be understood and, in paramount, the egregiousness of intermarriage stands out. Intermarriage Rachaman litslan destroys Jewish identity and prevents the rendezvous with Jewish destiny. Accordingly, the Rav zt"l was absolutely adamant regarding the ban on attending an intermarriage.

Additionally

With this same compelling line of reasoning in mind, the Rav was also equally adamant that subsequent to the wedding intermarried "couples" must not be included in family gatherings or invited to family semachos, and the like. Inviting the couple as such eo ipso acknowledges and accepts their illicit marriage. Under no circumstances may this acceptance be forthcoming. Let us not delude ourselves into thinking that we would be simply maintaining relations for purposes of kiruv. To the contrary, we are being m'sa'yai'a yedei ovrei aveira, strengthening the hands of those living in sin and creating a chilul Hashem.

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sabbahillel
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    In this case though the person believes they are marrying a Jew. They aren't being Poreik Ohl. The regular case of intermarriage is someone who doesn't care about their Judaism which is a big problem. It's not clear anything you wrote applies here. – Double AA Jan 09 '17 at 17:50
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    @DoubleAA Whatever they believe, it is still an intermarriage. However occurring in the Reform Temple is also part if the consideration. – sabbahillel Jan 09 '17 at 17:52
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    I agreed it is an intermarriage. But maybe nothing you wrote applies to it. – Double AA Jan 09 '17 at 18:04
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    @sabbahillel I'm not sure I'm following your comment about 'an Orthodox Rabbi'. If an Orthodox Rabbi performed an intermarriage in the social hall of a Reform synagogue it would be different?! What does that even mean? It doesn't matter who is supervising. It's all prohibited. And Reb Moshe, z"l doesn't make any distinction between Reform & Conservative. He says both these movements are to be viewed the same as non-Jews. – Yaacov Deane Mar 10 '17 at 21:52
  • @yaacovdeane I was trying to indicate that perhaps an Orthodox Rabbi might have an answer about the social hall for some reason. However a reform Rabbi is of course invalid even if both parties were Jewish. I was yr thing to emphasize the point that someone should not attend in any case. – sabbahillel Mar 12 '17 at 02:22
  • @sabbahillel 1st of all, Purim sameach. I hope you didn't take time out from celebrating to answer. I know you weren't such a thing. When you have the time, you might consider putting it in other words. It has always been amazing to me how strong Igrot Moshe is on this subject. He is always looking for the most lenient path. But in this area he is absolutely fierce. It shows how important it is. The Lubavitcher Rebbe compared it to throwing kerosene on a burning fire (as in fires of assimilation). It looks like water but has exactly the opposite effect. – Yaacov Deane Mar 12 '17 at 03:29
  • @YaacovDeane I rewote that section. Does it sound better? – sabbahillel Mar 12 '17 at 04:42
  • @sabbahillel Much better. I looked at the link referencing Igrot Moshe. In the 9 volumes I have, there are between a half dozen & a dozen letters dealing with different aspects of this subject. How the link is portraying the view of Rav Moshe, as I recall it, is not accurate. Although there is a difference between being in the social hall or the actual sanctuary of non-Orthodox shuls, it isn't relevant to the subject of intermarriage. If you haven't read them, it's worth the effort of going through the indices in the back of each volume & actually checking them out. He was a wonder. – Yaacov Deane Mar 12 '17 at 05:07