Do I sit Shiva after my parents if I am converted to Judaism?

Question

If the parents of a ger pass away, must the convert sit shiva for them? If so, is it preferable to sit shiva in the mourner's hometown or the parent's hometown?

Welcome! This site is not a forum for personal halachic query, perhaps you can edit to make it less personal — Shoel U'Meishiv, May 13 '15 at 14:02
Welcome to Mi Yodeya, Susan. Unfortunately, we don't allow questions asking for personal rulings. (See Can I consult Mi Yodeya as I would a rabbi? and Why is it necessary to ask a Rabbi?). I took the liberty of editing the question to be more general and not only your specific case, so hopefully it will be reopened soon. Just remember to not rely on anything you read here, and always ask your own rabbi for a practical ruling. Hope to see you around. — Scimonster, May 13 '15 at 14:20
http://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/28159/sitting-shiva-for-non-jewish-relatives/28209#28209 — Gershon Gold, May 13 '15 at 14:42

score 8 · Answer 1 · edited Apr 13 '17 at 12:41

8

See here from Gershon Gold:

The Rambam in Hilchos Avel 2:3 says that a Ger is not obligated to mourn for either of his parents. This is so because someone who is a Ger is considered as if he is reborn, and therefore has no Halachic relationship to his parents (Yevamos 22a; Bava Kamma 88a). The Beis Yosef (Yoreh De'ah 374) quotes the Mordechai in the name of the Ri that a convert must mourn for his mother, but the Rema in Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah 374:5 explicitly disagrees with this view.

My Rosh Yeshiva Rav Gedalia Anemer zt'l from Silver Spring Maryland , held in accordance with the Rema and ruled that a convert should not sit shiva for their parent.

Rav Ovadia Yosef (Yechaveh Da'as Vol 6 Responsa 60) however rules that a convert may sit shiva for a parent.

It is common for those sitting shiva to do so where they address comfortable. Many travel to different places to allow for family or friends to visit. However call your local Orthodox Rabbi to clarify if this is the proper thing to do.

edited Apr 13 '17 at 12:41

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answered May 13 '15 at 13:58

Shoel U'Meishiv

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I cant agree to today minhag to travel round the world while sitting shiva. It is not sheva brochos. One ideally should be sitting shiva in the house where the parent lived. – cham May 13 '15 at 15:59
Nobody said it's haskafically acceptable. Just that is what people do – Shoel U'Meishiv May 13 '15 at 16:04
It did give that impression @mefaresh – cham May 13 '15 at 18:05
How best can I phrase it to mitigate your concern? – Shoel U'Meishiv May 13 '15 at 18:06
I suppose people also read the comments so its not necessary. – cham May 13 '15 at 18:16
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@cham ??? How can you travel during Sheva Brachot? You stay in Beis Chasanim. – Double AA May 13 '15 at 20:53
I didnt know a beis chasanim existed today but you are right @DoubleAA. I am thinking maybe it only existed when a woman wasnt considered a niddah after he wedding – cham May 13 '15 at 21:21
@Double that would've got an lol but I'm too tired to laugh! – user6591 May 14 '15 at 02:23

score 1 · Answer 2 · answered Nov 23 '15 at 08:44

Even though a convert has to honour his biological parents, he doesn't mourn for them.

More than that: If an entire family converts together, they do not mourn for each other.

Sources from the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch:

סימן קמג - הלכות כבוד אב ואם

סעיף כב' גֵר אָסור לְקַלֵּל אָבִיו הַגוֹי וְלֹא יְבַזֵּהוּ, שֶׁלֹּא יֹאמְרוּ, בָּאַנוּ מִקְּדֻשָּׁה חֲמוּרָה לִקְדֻשָּׁה קַלָּה, אֶלָּא נוֹהֵג בָּהֶם מִקְצָת כָּבוֹד.‏

סימן רג - על איזה קרוב ותינוק מתאבלים

סעיף ה' גֵּר אוֹ גִּיֹּרֶת שֶׁנִּתְגַּיְרוּ עִם בְּנֵיהֶם, אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִין זֶה עַל זֶה, דְּגֵר שֶׁנִּתְגַיֵר, כְּקָטָן שֶׁנּוֹלַד דָּמֵּי, וְקֻרְבָה שֶׁהָיְתָה בְגוֹיּוּתָם אֵינָהּ קֻרְבָה.‏

Do I sit Shiva after my parents if I am converted to Judaism?

2 Answers2

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