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Assume a scenario where a man's wife requires extra help at home during a busy part of the day and requests that her husband skip minyan (and daven alone) in order to help her. (For example, let's say the woman recently gave birth and is very overwhelmed, and she requires extra help getting the children ready for school).

What considerations would be relevant to determining whether a man may skip prayer with a minyan under such a circumstance?1

Please provide sources that allow/prohibit this.

1 For example: (1.) Whether this is a case of a mitzva that cannot be handled by someone else. (1a.) If it can be handled by someone else, but only for a price. (2.) How this will affect harmony in the household. (3.) How it will affect the children's education if you help them go to school. (3a.) How it will affect the children's education if you show them that you will continue going to minyan under the circumstances. (4.) Whether the man lives in close proximity to a minyan. (5.) Whether the man would be the tenth person at the minyan, or is the only person that can perform some essential function, such as Torah reading, at the minyan.

Fred
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avner
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    Ask your Rabbi... – sam Jul 08 '14 at 17:04
  • Is the woman already skipping minyan to help with the kids? – Double AA Jul 08 '14 at 17:29
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    I don't know how old the kids are, but even if you find this heter (which I bet you will), you should remember that your kids will see you coming/going from Minyan and learn from example that Minyan is important. That's an invaluable opportunity you have to impart good Jewish values. – Double AA Jul 08 '14 at 17:44
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    related http://judaism.stackexchange.com/q/28081/759 – Double AA Jul 08 '14 at 17:47
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    R PE Falk writes that dealing with kids exempts one from Tefillah Bezmanah, and I would think all the more so from Tefillah Betzibbur (which is less important than Tefillah Bezmanah). – Double AA Jul 08 '14 at 18:01
  • Let us continue this discussion in chat. – DanF Jul 08 '14 at 18:03
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    @DoubleAA Regarding R' Falk, he's talking about women. And although the rationale about ability to concentrate after sof z'man t'filla could apply to men, in this particular case the corresponding issue would be whether he will only be able to concentrate if he davens alone (in which case Sha'arei T'shuva OC 52:1 states he should daven alone); thus the issue of dealing with children is (at most) extrinsically and indirectly relevant to this point. | Re. imparting good values: If it is halachically appropriate to stay home under the circumstances, doing so would best impart good values. – Fred Jul 08 '14 at 19:06
  • @Fred He doesn't mention any reason women should be different than men. It's also not a matter of concentration as much as how important dealing with the kids is. He categorizes it as Oneis. (Did you think I was referring to the bracketed part of 14? I wasn't.) Re values: that's not necessarily true if the kids don't appreciate the subtleties. – Double AA Jul 08 '14 at 19:39
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    There is a story of a fellow who usually came late to minyan/yeshiva. A functionary approached him to inquire about his habitual tardiness. He said, "Every day, as I am going towards minyan, I see a woman who has many children and many household chores. She cannot manage them all by herself. So I stop to help her." The functionary responded, "Oh, that's different. Is she a widow?" The man said, "Thank G-d, no. She is my own wife." – Ze'ev misses Monica Feb 15 '15 at 01:58
  • Logically one should. After all, helping her is a fulfillment of the Biblical commandment of "Love your fellow as yourself" minyan is not Biblical. – mevaqesh Aug 12 '15 at 08:34
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    http://www.ravaviner.com/2015/12/short-sweet-text-message-q-308.html http://www.ravaviner.com/2015/05/short-sweet-text-message-q-296.html – Double AA Feb 02 '16 at 06:27
  • Conversation about the Rif's view about women's obligation to pray has been moved to chat. – Double AA Nov 24 '16 at 06:06
  • See this shiur from R' Aryeh Lebowitz (beginning 39:54, but especially beginning 40:37), where he relates that R' Aharon Lichtenstein would sometimes miss davening with a minyan in order to take care of his children. – Fred Jan 16 '23 at 21:34

1 Answers1

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Nice question, the SA in 90:9 says a person should try to pray in a shul with a minyan, then says if he is anus the mishna berurah says eg he doesnt have strength or if he will lose money, he is allowed to pray in his house. I guess you can say for sure if it will affect your shalom bayis especially when it doesnt say the word 'chayav' rather 'yishtadel'. But again ask your LOR.

Yonatan batyrov
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