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In a discussion on a social media website, one of my parents has expressed a opinion I consider sexist. Feminist principle dictates that I publicly express my disapproval of this, and post a response indicating why I think their opinion is hazardous to gender equality. But the commandment to "honor thy father and mother" seems to indicate that I should not publicly make any remarks that could potentially shame one of my parents.

What should I do?

msh210
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user6659
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  • related (somewhat): http://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/18469/honor-parents-who-want-you-to-violate-halacha and http://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/40782/off-the-derech-parent – Charles Koppelman Jun 30 '14 at 17:50
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    If you can explain why you have to say something publicly, it might help your question. – Charles Koppelman Jun 30 '14 at 17:52
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    Welcome to Mi Yodeya, user6659. Please note that, like Wikipedia, this site makes no guarantee of validity, and does not offer professional (particularly rabbinic) advice. Treat information from this site like it came from a crowd of your friends. Also, might I suggest you register your account? That will give you access to more of the site's features. – msh210 Jun 30 '14 at 18:05
  • @msh210, I appreciate your warning regarding taking the site's advice as professional advice. I think that what I am looking for is a reference to a pertinent Torah passage, Talmud discussion, etc. that discusses this issue, so that I can evaluate that rabbinic advice to formulate a course of action that is reasonably supported. At this point I don't need the features of the site that are available only to registered users. – user6659 Jun 30 '14 at 18:11
  • @CharlesKoppelman, as an example, this xojane article recommends that men address sexism in public--that's items (5) and (15). Even if I were to do this privately, though, I'm not sure how to address this issue without contradicting my parent. – user6659 Jun 30 '14 at 18:15
  • @user6659 I also caution against viewing the sources we manage to come up with as exhaustive. If you can't find the sources yourself you are probably not in a position to understand fully how they apply to your situation. You should consult with a professional who is trained in applying Halakha to different situations. – Double AA Jul 01 '14 at 13:59

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Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 240:11 addresses how to correct a parent when they have made a mistake:

ראה אביו שעבר על דברי תורה, לא יאמר לו: "עברת על דברי תורה". אלא יאמר לו: "אבא, כתוב בתורה כך וכך", כאילו הוא שואל ממנו ולא כמזהירו, והוא יבין מעצמו ולא יתבייש.

If you see your father violating the Torah, do not say "you have violated the Torah." Rather, as if asking, say "Doesn't it say such and such in the Torah?" and he will on his own realize and not be embarrassed.

Your responsibility in correcting a parent is to do it in such a way that they are not embarrassed, even would it be in private.

This is assuming he has actually done something wrong. Violating feminist principles may or may not violate Torah principles, depending on the case.

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