Upsherin is cutting a boy's hair at or about the age of three for the first time. Is there any 'Inyan (idea) of an Upsherin for girls? Why or why not?
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1Why do you think there should be? – Yehoshua Mar 24 '13 at 17:19
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2I am assuming you are asking if there are communities that have done/continue to do it for girls. The answer to that is yes, but I am short on sources right now, other than I asked my Rav and he showed me a number of sources that I have since forgotten since adopting the practice in my own family. – Rabbi Michael Tzadok Mar 24 '13 at 17:23
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@Yehoshua I can't think of a reason why not (if you hold of it for boys, that is), yet I've never heard of it for girls, and I've specifically heard that it is only for boys. Just not from an authoritative source, and never with a reason. – Seth J Mar 24 '13 at 17:58
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2what counts as an inyan – Double AA Mar 24 '13 at 18:01
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1@double aa I'm being deliberately vague, to allow a broad spectrum of answers. Eg., "My rabbi said that in his family his aunt had one but he thought it was weird when she told him," all the way to, "The Upsherinishe Rebbe held that, because women don't have a 'Orlah their hair can be cut even before three years." – Seth J Mar 24 '13 at 18:48
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If one who cuts a kallah's hair after the wedding has a daughter that gets married at 3... – Adám Feb 20 '14 at 20:08
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1As per http://judaism.stackexchange.com/a/13208/501: The origins are possibly / probably pagan - and therefore asking questions about an "adopted" Minhag is rather peculiar. Feel free do remold the ceremony as you wish. – Danny Schoemann Jul 28 '14 at 14:16
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@DannySchoemann: http://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/8212/what-is-the-source-for-the-upsheirin/13208#comment21928_13208 – Seth J Jul 28 '14 at 15:21
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@DannySchoemann and http://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/8212/what-is-the-source-for-the-upsheirin/13208#comment114319_13208 – Seth J Jul 28 '14 at 15:24
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1@SethJ - I read all that, and I'm still opposed to pseudo-Judaism, no matter how well it's integrated into parts of society. – Danny Schoemann Jul 29 '14 at 14:52
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@DannySchoemann, I'm not saying it's good or bad; I'm also not judging whether it's authentic or pseudo-Judaism. What I'm saying is that one post on a blog, imported into an answer on a Q&A site (even a great one such as this) is not enough forensics for me to assume it is pagan in origin. At the very least, there's a parallel between human life and trees, and 'Orlah and the age of three. Whether drawing on that parallel came after the fact (ie., after a pagan superstition had been widely adopted), someone came up with it out of thin air, or there's some source, I don't know. But there it is. – Seth J Jul 29 '14 at 17:41
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A classic source for the Upsherin is the שערי תשובה in שו"ע או"ח סי' תקלא סק"ז
He says:
המנהג בארץ ישראל לעשות שמחה בתגלחת הראשונה של קטן, שמחנכין אותו במצוה להיות לו פאות הראש.
"The custom in the land of Israel is to make a joyous occasion out of the child's first haircut, when one inaugurates him into the concept of [not destroying] his [Halachic] sideburns."
Since girls do not have the Mitzva of פאות הראש, there would be no sense to making an Upsherin ceremony for them.
mevaqesh
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Danny Schoemann
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if by "Inyan of Upsherin" you mean hair cut then see @Danny Schoemann's answer
but if by "Inyan of Upsherin" you mean the Inyan of chinuch
from this answer
the first haircut is about teaching the child about the Mitzvah of Pe'ot, since we cut the hair and leave the Pe'ot.
Why do most people do it at 3, because age 3 is associated with starting to teach children about Mitzvos (Chinuch).
then some have a custom for girls to light candles at 3.
