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If a man is elderly and has not been able to secure a wife all his life, he may be seen as a loser and a virgin by others around him. This can be extremely undignified. On top of that people spread rumours about him that he is socially inept. Can he enter into a sexual relationship with a non-Jew which is rabbinic, and can be overridden by concerns of Kavod Habriot?

Yaaqov Yosef
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  • Related: https://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/51153/from-where-do-we-know-that-sexual-intercourse-with-a-non-jewish-woman-is-forbidd?noredirect=1&lq=1 – יהושע ק Jan 29 '23 at 20:13
  • This sounds like a painful question. It might be better to find a better example though as I don't hear the argument that scoffers and mockers opinions touch on a person's dignity. – Rabbi Kaii Jan 29 '23 at 20:49
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    Remaining a virgin when unmarried is dignified. What you are proposing is to behave in an undignified manner. – Double AA Jan 30 '23 at 00:28
  • According one YU source, kavod habriyot means having self-determination and choice. If a person is subject to discrimination or coercion and fair choice is taken away, it suffices to conclude that their kavod habryiot is taken away. If being a virgin/unskilled with women was an excuse for such mistreatment, then demonstrating otherwise almost seems like an imperative to nullify the myth. – Yaaqov Yosef Feb 15 '23 at 04:58

1 Answers1

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  1. If this was meant as a practical question for someone then this website doesn't allow that. A qualified rav should be consulted for all practical halachic questions
  2. It sounds like this is someone that could potentially need help with emotional help. This website isn't qualified to give that either. Mental health is just as much a part of refuas hagoof (healing the body) as taking care of a broken limb is and the right professional should be sought out for that.
  3. I don't believe anyone is too old to find their zivug even though it may be painful to be taking so long. Friends, family, and even other communities should be consulted to find such a person his partner.
  4. Eruvin 19a says that Avraham Avinu helps save Jewish people from gehinom except a person that had relations with a non-Jew. Sanhedrin 75a says to let a man die rather than bed a single woman. Here the concern is about the dignity of Jewish women though I still think there is similarity enough to say there is a concern for Jewish men as well. The Rambam in Mishneh Torah Yesodei HaTorah 5:9 makes reference to this but does not qualify it with any reason. Seemingly the main thing is to prevent the man from committing the forbidden relation. Additionally in the same section halacha 2 a man is obligated to give his life rather than commit forbidden relations unlike the rest of the Torah one would be permitted to violate to save ones life.

conclusion: There is no source for forbidden relations becoming permitted under certain circumstances, someone with challenges finding his zivug should expand to others for help if those currently helping him are not successful, and someone who is experiencing depression should get the right type of help immediately.

Dude
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  • Not impressed with this answer. The lack of precedent in the Torah doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. In a case of a rabbinic prohibition, such as private cohabitation with a non-Jew, kavod habryiot and risk to life would typically be valid exemptions. The same Gemara about better giving up one’s life rather than commit gilyut harias defines the latter as rape. I am not suggesting that anyone would do it as the Zohar like your Agaddah of Avraham Avinu warns sternly against it. But the Halacha deserves careful consideration. – Yaaqov Yosef Jan 08 '24 at 15:54
  • There is no halachic consideration for this. It's usser. Nothing else matters here. – Dude Jan 09 '24 at 00:17
  • Gilroy arayos are the complete opposite of David habris – Dude Jan 09 '24 at 00:18