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Cookie Monster loves cookies. So what does a Jewish cookie monster do during Pesach, when cookies are Chametz?


This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

Moshe
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    Cookies are matza ashira not chametz – Double AA Feb 17 '21 at 03:51
  • @doubleaa doesn't that depend on the recipe? For that matter some are gebrochts. – Heshy Feb 17 '21 at 12:43
  • @Heshy most cookies have no water added, most are mixed and baked within a short time frame, and many others are set in the fridge. Sure you could find the right chumras to make a few "safek" chametz, but anyone with any experience baking knows none of those doughs have fermented to any meaningful degree even if common practice is not to trust our senses – Double AA Feb 17 '21 at 13:11
  • @DoubleAA There's still the fact that the grains were tempered in water before being milled, and that may make them chametz gamur at least as far as eating them (see https://oukosher.org/blog/kosher-professionals/the-tempering-of-grains-and-its-chometz-and-hafrashas-challah-implications/). – Meir Feb 17 '21 at 16:59
  • @Meir And if you mixed in a piece of bread it would chametz too! I'm just talking about cookies qua cookies; if you're actually going to do this of course buy KP ingredients. But that issue is a perfect example of what I meant by not trusting our senses. Tempering (wheat) is permitted (and it was seen as a mitzva). The Geonim said not to do it because we don't trust people to do it right. It's a chumra (which not all communities accepted, incidentally). https://judaism.stackexchange.com/a/57087/759 – Double AA Feb 17 '21 at 17:00
  • @DoubleAA It may be permitted if it's done quickly, but the linked article mentions that in modern tempering, the grains sit in water for 8-32 hours. – Meir Feb 17 '21 at 17:02
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    @Meir Nah, they don't sit in water. They are very lightly shpritzed. None of them crack. Another example of we don't trust our senses to see that they are clearly not sprouted or fermented even after so much time. Millers don't want to mill sprouted wheat, cracked wheat, or fermented wheat. It's a highly controlled process. (Not to mention pretty sterile. The estimate of 18 minutes to ferment, which may be a bad girsa and was meant to be 72-90 minutes, was assuming the unhygenic world they lived in then where wild yeast was more plentiful. Sourdough starters take days to grow now.) – Double AA Feb 17 '21 at 17:03
  • I'm not telling you to eat Oreos on Pesach, but please, please, please prefer it to bread if you need to. Oreos are probably not Asur Deorayta on Pesach. – Double AA Feb 17 '21 at 17:23
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    ARAM-RAM-RAM ARAM-RAM-RAM... ARAMI OVED AVI! – Shalom Feb 18 '21 at 02:37
  • He (and the other Sesame Street gang) attended a passover meal and ate what you'd expect him to eat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ3Ur18Kij4 – Richard Feb 18 '21 at 20:36
  • @DoubleAA could you explain what you mean that 18 minutes to ferment may have really meant 72-90 minutes? What's the source for that, and who discusses it? I've never heard that before but that sounds quite fascinating! – Binyomin Mar 17 '21 at 01:29
  • @Biny http://www.hakirah.org/Vol18Vaynman.pdf not to mention mil for many rishonim was 22.5 minutes not 18 and in factory settings the dough is usually being worked or at least jostled which means it never becomes chametz for many rishonim. – Double AA Mar 17 '21 at 01:39
  • Oreos are apparently start-to-finish produced in under an hour including 5 minutes in the oven. Seemingly they are probably permitted to sell to a non-Jew even for those who don't sell vadai chametz gamur. EDIT Actually the probably includes the time to line them up, put on cream and make a sandwhich? So all the moreso there's no way they're vadai chametz. – Double AA Mar 18 '21 at 16:14

8 Answers8

33

Cookie Monster eating a stack of matzahs

We have photographic evidence what the answer is...

Shalom
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Eliyahu
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Fortunately, Cookie Monster has addressed this very question at length.

Mem is for macaroon, or that what I believe    
Mem is for macaroon, or that what I believe    
Mem is for macaroon, or that what I believe    
Oh, macamaca Mem der ershter briv

Me eat them on Pesach, when Chomez contraband
It no make a difference if Streit’s or Geffen brand
Me eat the cardboard canister, that not what makers planned
Oh, macamaca Mem der ershter briv

Me makpid on shiurim, just like the chocham ben
Instead of two kezeitzim me gobble nine or ten
But everything put in my mouth just spill back out again
Oh, macamaca Mem der ershter briv

To “all who are hungry” me happy to explain
Me eat up all the macaroons but me still have some chrein
Me soak them in the yayin, for they not made of grain
Oh, macamaca Mem der ershter briv

Me finish them by Chatzois, a little bit before
On middle days of Pesach, me go back to the store
And that way on the final days me still have plenty more
Oh, macamaca Mem der ershter briv

-Cookie Monster

Chaim
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The title "cookie" monster is really just a conveninece. In fact, his real name is the "Kof K" Monster and people take the letters kh and K and pronounce them as "cookie". So he eats whatever food is supervised by the Kof K, year-round.

Another theory has it that his name is actually the "K k'mon d'seter", as in "kosher, like the Mon which is hidden" so he eats things like Mon. And we all know that the food that can take on the flavor or form of anything that the eater wishes is tofu. So he is Sephardic.

rosends
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A cookie need not be Chametz. The stores sell many Pesachdige cookies that are made with potato starch or almond flour. A Jewish Cookie Monster eats cookies that are Kosher for Passover.

Gershon Gold
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  • Is Cookie Monster makpid on gebrochts? Pashtus he could be wearing a blue shtreimel and nobody could tell one way or the other. – Shalom Feb 18 '21 at 14:47
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See Shabbos 30b

עתידה ארץ ישראל שתוציא גלוסקאות וכלי מילת

When mashiach comes, Eretz Yisrael will grow cakes and clothes.

So let's say that Eretz Yisrael grows a cake on Pesach, is this chametz? If you say chametz is chametz because the dough fermented, this is not chametz. If you say chametz is chametz because it is chametz, then this is chametz.

This is lichorah a machlokess in the first mishna in Beitza

בֵּית שַׁמַּאי אוֹמְרִים: שְֹאוֹר בְּכַזַּיִת וְחָמֵץ בְּכַכּוֹתֶבֶת. וּבֵית הִלֵּל אוֹמְרִים: זֶה וָזֶה בְּכַזַּיִת.

According to Beis Shammai the leavening agent has a stricter halachah because it is the leavening that creates the cheftza of chametz. According to Beis Hillel is doesn't, because chametz is chametz regardless of how it was created.

Since the halachah will be like Beis Shammai when mashiach comes it turns out that chametz is only chametz when dough was leavened. Therefore if Eretz Yisrael grows cakes, you may eat them on Pesach.

Since the cookies that the Cookie Monster eats are spontaneously generated from the Cookie Tree this will also be permissible when mashiach comes, but in the meantime the Cookie Monster will have to starve.

The GRAPKE
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There is an opinion amongst the later commentaries that the Cookie Monster was actually the Golem of Prague.

He only survived for one Pesach, after which he died (dramatically) due to chametz deprivation and argyria.

Some devout believers, await his return as the messiah...

bondonk
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In my house we frown on baking with matza products, and in general dislike "pesach versions" of recipes. Instead, Cookie Monster should look for recipes that never had hametz in them to begin with, such as almond-flour date-raspberry bars and flourless chocolate tortes.

If Cookie Monster eats kitniyot, there are also many peanut butter based recipes.

(Note: opinions vary on whether peanuts are permitted on Pesach; for example the OU says "In Europe different communities had different customs about peanuts. Some considered them to be kitniyot; while others ate peanuts on Passover.")

arp
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Very simple. He eats cookies made from Matzah flour. It's similar to Matzah ball but sweet.