PTIJ: Where do we learn that God created the world using LISP?

Question

It is sometimes claimed that God created the world using Perl, but it's clear that censors have gotten to Rav XKCD's work -- most of it is correct, and then the final panel is grafted in by another hand. (Look at the art! The style has clearly changed!) We also see the the answer there relies on finding patterns in English, and surely that cannot be the language of Creation!

We have the testimony of Reb Kanefsky that the language of Creation was in fact LISP, but I'm looking for an earlier source. From where do we learn that the world was created using LISP?

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This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

Answer 1

Hashem looked at the Torah and created the world.

I'f you'll take a look at a Sefer Torah, the only puctuation you'll find is whitespace and a parenthesis.

This explains the argument between Beis Shammai and Beis Hillel. Beis Shammai says that the whitespace is the Ikkar and thus the world was created in Python, while Beis Hillel says that the parenthesis are the Ikkar and the world was created in Lisp.

But everyone agrees that there are no semicolons, and so the world was definitely not created in C.

Answer 2

I don't think that we have to resort to accusations of forgery to explain this one. Although I am hesitant to argue on the pious and learned Rav XKCD, it is well known that he is not well versed in the more mystical aspects of the Torah, and on a p'shat level he is correct that the world was created with Perl.

And, of course, on a p'shat level no one would realize the true secret meaning of the verse in Shoftim (12:6):

ויאמרו לו אמר-נא שבלת ויאמר סבלת, ולא יכין לדבר כן, ויאחזו אותו, וישחטוהו אל-מעברות הירדן; ויפל בעת ההיא, מאפרים, ארבעים ושנים, אלף

And they said to him "say Shibollet" and he said "Sibbolet" in an inappropriate way, and they grabbed him and slaughtered him, and from Ephraim 42,000 fell. (p'shat translation)

The sod of the verse, of course, is that speaking with a LISP in such a way was inappropriate. And therefore, Ephraim lost the knowledge (אלוף) of 42, which, as Rabbeinu D. Adams taught us, is the meaning of Creation.

Answer 3

I don't know about the creation of the world, but I can certaily prove that the Torah was originally written in Lisp.

Avos 4:5 says:

וְהַלּוֹמֵד עַל מְנָת לַעֲשׂוֹת, מַסְפִּיקִין בְּיָדוֹ לִלְמֹד וּלְלַמֵּד לִשְׁמֹר וְלַעֲשׂוֹת.‏

One who studies in order to practice will be given the opportunity to study, to teach, to observe, and to practice.

Clearly, the Torah is meant to be used practically. One might even say that the Torah advices us to treat it functionally. Although there are apparently some modules intended to add functional properties to Perl, clearly nothing of any significance was written in Perl that was functional (in any sense of the word). That's where Lisp comes in.

Answer 4

Sanhedrin 72a says that Torah is LISP:

תורה לסוף

Torah is LISP

And we know that the world was created with Torah, as the very beginning of Bereshis Rabbah says:

כָּךְ הָיָה הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מַבִּיט בַּתּוֹרָה וּבוֹרֵא אֶת הָעוֹלָם, וְהַתּוֹרָה אָמְרָה בְּרֵאשִׁית בָּרָא אֱלֹהִים. וְאֵין רֵאשִׁית אֶלָּא תּוֹרָה, הֵיאַךְ מָה דְּאַתְּ אָמַר (משלי ח, כב): ה' קָנָנִי רֵאשִׁית דַּרְכּוֹ.

So too Hashem gazed into the Torah and created the world. Similarly the Torah says, "Through the reishis Hashem created [the heavens and the earth]," and reishis means Torah, as in "Hashem made me [the Torah] the beginning (reishis) of His way" (Mishlei 8:22).

Therefore, the world was created using LISP.

Answer 5

Wasn’t the world created in Python? After all, the first non-human creature mentioned is a python, and it was more clever than all other creatures (Genesis 3:1).