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I ask this in all respect because there are people who end up not having a romantic partner or spouse in their life. Yet, there is an assertion that HaShem has designated for each individual a soulmate. Does any rabbinic source have an explanation for this phenomenon? (Please cite quotations, if any, thanks in advance).

ddas91600
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    How do you reconcile בזעת אפיך תאכל לחם with gluten sensitivity? It's not a universal guarantee, just a general observation. – shmosel Dec 07 '23 at 04:33
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    I think you're getting Bereishis 2:24 wrong. It's not a promise, it's a commandment (of sorts). – ElonMusk Dec 07 '23 at 04:44
  • @ElonMusk can you elaborate on how Bereishis 2:24 is a commandment of sorts? thanks – ddas91600 Dec 07 '23 at 04:47
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    Rashi says it's an injunction against forbidden relations. – shmosel Dec 07 '23 at 04:51
  • @shmosel That's right. But isn't it so that HaShem has designated for each person a bashert? (I hear this commonly assured by rabbis.) – ddas91600 Dec 07 '23 at 04:53
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    @ddas91600 Artscroll translates that posuk as follows: "For this reason, a man SHALL leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife and they shall become one flesh." – ElonMusk Dec 07 '23 at 05:58
  • @ElonMusk That is the case. Yet, I've heard from a number of rabbis that HaShem has designated for each individual a bashert...Do you know of any source explaining as to why someone may not have a bashert? – ddas91600 Dec 07 '23 at 06:03
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    The concept definitely exists. The gemara says before a person is born it's declared in heaven who he will marry. If you're asking about that in general, maybe clarify the question. – shmosel Dec 07 '23 at 06:04
  • @shmosel Fixed. Operating from this information, then, why is it that some people end up not having, at the very least, a partner? – ddas91600 Dec 07 '23 at 06:12
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    Then again, it's also decreed which house and field you will have. But not everyone gets a field in life. – shmosel Dec 07 '23 at 06:15
  • @shmosel Am I to take it that some people are born without a designated bashert? is there a source affirming this? – ddas91600 Dec 07 '23 at 06:16
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    Does this answer your question? Is it possible to use free will to avoid getting married? – Rabbi Kaii Dec 07 '23 at 08:59
  • In Breslev tradition whoever you marry is by definition your Ziwwug. But it may not be the Ziwwug ha'Amiti. There are eight Ziwwugim and depending on the man's Avoda he attains which one. That's the Ari I believe but I can't cite maybe someone can. – Nissim Nanach Dec 07 '23 at 11:00
  • By saying Hallel and hodaah enthusiastically to H"Y and by learning Halakhot, you will find your Ziwwug ha'Amiti -- L. Etzot, Chitting, from L. Moharan II:2. And also by saying Nanach in simple faith -- Saba – Nissim Nanach Dec 07 '23 at 11:04
  • Typo Chittun חיתון – Nissim Nanach Dec 07 '23 at 11:51

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We do say that Hashem finds a match for everyone, as in Maseches Sotah 2A. Skip the next paragraph if you already know that Gemarah.

Here's a simple summary of the relevant part of that Gemarah. There appears to be an argument between Reish Lakish and R' Yochanan regarding whether a person finds a match depending on their merits. In support of R' Yochanan's view that it is independent of one's actions, the Gemarah quotes Rav saying that three things are determined for a person 40 days before their fetal conception, and one of those things is בת פלוני לפלוני, apparently deciding their match. The Gemarah concludes that in reality there never was an argument, but rather one's first match is predetermined while the second is dependent on one's actions.

The interpretation of the Meiri on this section answers your question, I believe. I'll paraphrase the relevant section in English. I got it from alhatorah.org, and I suggest reading it in his words (if you use the link I posted it will be in the sixth paragraph).

When the Gemarah differentiates between the first and second matches, saying that the first is predetermined, it does not mean one's first spouse is predetermined, and that if he (for example) divorces her, his chance of finding a second wife is dependent on his actions. Instead, the first proclamation is predetermined, while the second is dependent on one's actions. Why? Because the principle that it depends on one's actions is always true, just that before one's conception, one is deemed a tzaddik, having never sinned, and therefore they are automatically found righteous and deserving.

It follows from this reading that even finding one's first basheret can be diverted, G-d forbid. Further, the Meiri clarifies that when it says "the match depends on one's actions", that does not only mean finding the match, but also which type of person is found. Positive traits will engender the merit/ability to find a match in someone with similar positive traits.

So basically, if you remain a tzaddik then yes, it's predetermined, but otherwise there can be obstructions (G-d forbid) or diversions to people of variable quality.

Note that there are other interpretations.

Ethan Leonard
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  • I've fixed my question. Thank you very much for your answer. – ddas91600 Dec 07 '23 at 06:31
  • But then how do you explain bad people who have a soulmate? – Miguel Feb 14 '24 at 21:16
  • @Miguel if by soulmate, you mean someone that fits their distasteful character traits and encourage them, then it makes perfect sense, based on the idea in the second to last paragraph, that traits engender like traits. – Ethan Leonard Feb 16 '24 at 08:11