Freezing sperm for later insemination - absent wife question

Question

Many men face the nisayon of desperately needing to release, but are unable while their wife is away or is a niddah. Wasting zera is undoubtedly assur - whether MidiOraysa or by gezeiras Rabbanan or for kabbalistic reasons. What if the husband did hotzoas zera himself and immediately froze the zera for later insertion/insemination when his wife becomes available. In that way the zera is not wasted, and has an indirect route to the place it was going to end up anyway, and even the intent is not the prohibited intent of Er and Onan.
Keeping in mind a) the desperate need of the husband, and possibility of spending every waking moment intensely focused on his need (and possibly faltering) until satisfied - possibly weeks later, and b) the Chochmas Shlomo who allegedly found that motzi zera to save from an issur is not prohibited hotzaah in certain circumstances - much like hotzoas zera for research to determine how to treat fertility issues, since the goal and intent is to end up with zera for the correct purpose.

Sanhedrin 107a: אבר קטן יש באדם משביעו רעב ומרעיבו שבע, "a man has a little limb and when it is starved, it is satiated but when it is fed, it gets more hungry". Therefore according to Torah, this is not a need, just a habit to be conquered, a character to be refined. Do you have any source that indicates otherwise? — Rabbi Kaii, Aug 01 '23 at 18:13
See [4] for a similair approach and consult the sources mentioned there. https://ph.yhb.org.il/en/category/14/14-06/ — Shmuel, Aug 01 '23 at 18:48
See also: https://www.sefaria.org/Peninei_Halakhah%2C_Simchat_Habayit_U'Virkhato.6.2.5?lang=bi&with=Halakhah%20ConnectionsList&lang2=en — Shmuel, Aug 01 '23 at 18:49
@Shmuel what does the Tzitz Eliezer say? The other two links you have provided are not to do with fighting the yeitzer hara, so I don't see how they are relevant. OP, I just take issue with the word need, and the point I am trying to make is that the standard advice given to someone struggling with nothing more than a yeitzer hara is to keep working on oneself until they conquer it, and not generally to make provisions for continued "less severe" sinning. See this list of suggestions: https://www.sefaria.org/Peninei_Halakhah%2C_Simchat_Habayit_U'Virkhato.4.4.2. But happy to be proven wrong? — Rabbi Kaii, Aug 01 '23 at 18:55
Shmuel, that link: https://ph.yhb.org.il/en/category/14/14-06/ was very informative - thank you. It gave a lot of the sources and food for thought, though it would be nice to see if this was ever paskened on the head by a poisek, as this is too serious to rely on only svaros. Thank you. — for a friend..., Aug 01 '23 at 19:04
Rabbi Kaii: While the baalei mussar do their best to help those facing the struggle by offering advice to work on the underlying desire, once faced with the desire itself, it becomes a need. This is a physical and mental need for a release that is so powerful and strong that to classify it any other way would be to be in denial. Surely you do not think the tanna who screamed fire when he climbed the ladder to the rafters in his barn where the girls were sleeping merely had a bad habit? — for a friend..., Aug 01 '23 at 19:11
...continued... - I do understand that it may be different for different people, and perhaps not for you - but that would be ignoring the rest of us for whom it is a burning need that occupies all waking thoughts during any activity until satisfied. — for a friend..., Aug 01 '23 at 19:11
Your reference to the Gemara in Sanhedrin 107a does show that you feel differently than others do, as if the answer is simply starve, when the starvation is exactly the cause behind the problem. The need/desire doesn't disappear when your wife is a niddah. It builds and gets worse. — for a friend..., Aug 01 '23 at 19:14
@forafriend... I hear you. It's very VERY hard. Judaism is very much "Torah, right and wrong, what Hashem needs of us; oy it's very hard, and therefore we are extremely understanding and patient, but we still want to get you there, we won't budge in our expectations of you." So I don't call it a need. It is something that can be conquered, by everyone, and once it is conquered, it is much easier. Not completely off the hook though, as you mentioned about the tanna :) — Rabbi Kaii, Aug 01 '23 at 19:20
Either way, given that this is clearly a real life case, one which involves shalom bayit, I'm not sure it is on topic, or recommended, to be dealt with here. Please see if it is possible for your friend to find a Rabbi to talk to, to advise on this. Some communities have anonymous sheila lines, for example, if this is too sensitive to bring to one's own Rabbi — Rabbi Kaii, Aug 01 '23 at 19:25
@RabbiKaii my comments were not dealing with fighting the Yetzer Hara, since I was trying to find sources for the original question. — Shmuel, Aug 01 '23 at 19:41
@forafriend... Rabbi Auerbach allows the provision of sperm by a man for fertility testing. See https://www.medethics.org.il/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/RJ031030a.html#_ftnref20 Although it is not the same as your question, there are a plethora of sources mentioned in that article. — Shmuel, Aug 01 '23 at 19:42
@Shmuel the main thing is, apart from fertility and medical issues, there is no provision for committing the sin of spilling seed to help deal with the yeitzer hara to spill seed. There is a provision to do so to prevent one from forbidden intercourse though (Sefer Chassidim 176; Chelkas Mechokeik 23:1; Beis Shmuel 23:1). The angle that it will later be inseminated is highly complex — Rabbi Kaii, Aug 01 '23 at 20:03
I agree that this is a complex case and I am nowhere aiming to give "the right answer". CYLOR is the best case here, but sources are always helpful :) — Shmuel, Aug 01 '23 at 20:12
I am genuinely surprised that it does not seem to be popularly addressed, since it is so easy to do and so relevant, and can save so many people from the aveira. — for a friend..., Aug 01 '23 at 20:18
@forafriend... re: "simply starve", I think the purpose of that gemara is not to give advice on how to stop. Like you said, that's not going to work, but probably make things worse without a mental and emotional shift. Instead think like this. If someone's father decides to chaperone him for 2 years, never leave his presence even for a second, obviously the guy would never sin. The gemara is reassuring you that in that situation, the son won't continually grow more and more desperate, but will eventually have "starved" his limb, the result is he will eventually become less and less desperate — Rabbi Kaii, Aug 01 '23 at 23:05
The reason it is not popularly addressed is that it is not at all easy to do .... freezing happens in specialized labs under very strict supervision. Not something you can do without lengthy preparation. Freezing in your home freezer won't work for future use. So it is not in any way a practical suggestion — mbloch, Aug 02 '23 at 03:35
@mbloch Whether the medical community uses a specialized or flash freezer to preserve it - may not impact halachically whether the zera retains its viability (something about three days comes to mind in a different context). If a regular freezer can preserve it but is not the preferred method of the medical establishment, it may be viable without specialized equipment. — for a friend..., Aug 02 '23 at 16:01
@mbloch The question goes not to whether this is the best way to preserve it, but whether it can be preserved in this manner. I personally know of a female couple who have used a turkey baster and donated zera and have gotten pregnant. No medical establishment with a license to protect would do so, but the barest minimum is all that is required. — for a friend..., Aug 02 '23 at 16:05

Freezing sperm for later insemination - absent wife question

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