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I see Orthodox and Hasidic rabbis advising couples where adultery has been committed against the other not to get divorced or not to take that attitude immediately, to dialogue, to find out how far this relationship can be fixed. My question is, doesn't Judaism demand immediate divorce in case of adultery even if the innocent party forgives the adulterer? Or when they speak is it more directed towards gentiles? Don't the Gentiles have something similar? Has anything changed in the approach to adultery? Did it stop being that sin as if it were something of no return? Even if today it is not possible to apply capital punishment, did this mean that the adulterer could have a new chance even if the penalty is now in the hands of heaven?

Thales
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    Where do you see? – Gershon Gold Nov 20 '22 at 20:27
  • I'm from Brazil and a well-regarded rabbi here when asked what to do in case of discovering adultery, he did not immediately recommend divorce, suggesting that he talk to the one who betrayed him, expressing his feelings and his pain and trying to find out if there is salvation for this marriage . So unless you understand Portuguese I can send you the video in question that addresses this – Thales Nov 20 '22 at 20:30
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    If you can't name the Rabbi it is impossible to formulate a response. – Gershon Gold Nov 20 '22 at 21:39
  • Rabbi Yacov Gerenstadt – Thales Nov 20 '22 at 21:44
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    When a married woman lives with another man willingly, she becomes forbidden on her husband. He would be obligated to divorce her. Whether she can repent or not, would help her relationship with hashem, but it won't permit her back to her husband. – Shlomy Nov 20 '22 at 22:01
  • This I know and it is diametrically opposed to what this rabbi from my country says. Now this would only be reconciled if he was referring to a Gentile audience, is there such a difference in the handling of divorce between Gentiles and Jews? – Thales Nov 20 '22 at 22:15
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    Perhaps he is talking about the man who sinned and forgiveness by his spouse. – Gershon Gold Nov 21 '22 at 00:17
  • By gentiles we dont find such a law that an adulterer becomes forbidden on their spouse. – Shlomy Nov 22 '22 at 03:11
  • But it is one of the seven laws of Noah, so if capital punishment applies to them then if it does not have capital punishment it could not theoretically be allowed to the spouse as it happens in Judaism. – Thales Nov 22 '22 at 12:34
  • @Thales in Judaism only a wife being unfaithful is classified as adultery; a man cheating with an unmarried woman is not being a good husband but it is not what the Torah classifies as adultery. – יהושע ק Nov 23 '22 at 11:19
  • You'll see what the betrayed woman will think of that. This has changed, society has changed, with the end of polygamy women began to feel betrayed and with the decree of Rabbi Gershon only reinforced this, what was previously allowed today is absurd. Worse, there are even rabbis campaigning to return to polygamy in Israel. – Thales Nov 23 '22 at 13:43
  • In short, if women couldn't be polygamous and now men couldn't either, then a relationship with another woman became adultery. What the Torah forbids no man can allow but what the Torah permits it may become forbidden. – Thales Nov 23 '22 at 13:49
  • Possible answer here: https://judaism.stackexchange.com/a/28312 , but with the caveats mentioned in this comment: https://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/28268/what-happens-to-the-family-of-a-kohen-today-if-his-wife-is-a-victim-of-rape#comment217102_28275 – Fred Dec 12 '22 at 18:26
  • The question I'm looking for is. Is there forgiveness for adultery? Or does it only qualify as adultery in Mosaic fashion, two witnesses before a court and that after warning them of the law? If the husband or wife catches their spouse cheating does it have probative or legal value for adultery? – Thales Dec 12 '22 at 18:37
  • @Thales If a husband catches his wife cheating, that would meet the legal standard to require divorce. A confession of adultery by the wife doesn't necessarily meet that standard (though halachic sources debate this intricately, e.g., Shu"t Maharalbach 117, Chavos Yair 72), absent corroborating evidence or the husband's קים לי בגווה standard of belief (see Igros Moshe, EH I. 24:4; cf. paragraphs 2 & 3 in this answer). A capital adultery case would be completely different. – Fred Dec 14 '22 at 18:44
  • @Fred But is the husband's testimony itself proof? Can anyone wanting to get rid of the marriage go around accusing the spouse of being a traitor? Or will he have to provide some material proof? As for adultery by women, I believe that on the day polygamy was declared illegal, it became adultery for a man to have a relationship with someone other than his wife. – Thales Dec 14 '22 at 22:12

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