Shalom, I am a 16 year old noahide and therefore quite young. I want to ask if it is permissible for a noahide to premarital relationships (of course only with the opposite gender and therefore sexual intercourse to). With sexual relationships i mean "true love" like husband and wife. Furthermore do I have to live with the person in one home or not (I obviously am too young to afford myself a home). I thank you a lot!
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I believe yes, but I don't know if I could rely on the person because I unfortunately don't know if the person is a rabbi or just expert. I just want more opinions on that.But still thank you. – Kindnoachs Jul 28 '22 at 16:00
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1And how can you rely on random internet users who respond to this question – Chatzkel Jul 28 '22 at 16:31
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Some of them have a really high reputation. I believe the person in the other post. – Kindnoachs Jul 28 '22 at 16:51
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@Kindnoachs ooooh someone has a special someone in their life am I right😂 – Curious Yid Jul 28 '22 at 21:10
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1@CuriousYid unfortunately not, but I don't pressure myself, I know that haShem has somebody for me which I maybe soon get to know. – Kindnoachs Jul 28 '22 at 21:47
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It must be prefaced that everybody must abide by the laws of the land that they live in. In the context of sexuality; your age, the age of your partner, and the legal age of consent in your country/state, MUST be taken into account.
It’s important to note, that even though the Torah does not prohibit premarital sexual activity for Noahides (with people of the opposite gender who are permitted to them by Torah law), it still doesn’t mean that in the long run, engaging in such activity is a good idea for them.
We read in Genesis (2:18) that God says; that it’s not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helpmate for him.
This means that man needs to have a steady companion in life; not just someone to hang out with on weekends, or to have a fling with here and there.
Lust fulfillment, without long term commitment, doesn’t help man to be not alone.
Dating is about forming a meaningful connection, and a real relationship with the other gender. Getting physical, before a real relationship has developed, greatly diminishes the odds of such a relationship ever developing.
Casual sex also cheapens the sex act into something transactional, which in the long run, hinders a person from being able to enter into long term relationships that are not built solely on lustful attraction.
Therefore, while occasional premarital sex might take care of your immediate sexual urges, for now, nevertheless it’s only a temporary fix.
You need to look with maturity at the bigger picture, which includes learning life skills, in preparation for married life. One very important life skill; is learning a trade, through which you can provide for yourself and your family. Other life skills include becoming a better person through character development, and learning how to get along with people, in all types of life situations.
If you work on this, people will notice how you stand out and excel in these areas, which overall, will make you into a more desirable marriage prospect.
IsraelReader
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I don't look at sex as just a fun hobby I want a real relationship which leads to marriage and of course would treat my wife/partner the best I can. As I mentioned I don't just want intercourse I want a wife/girlfriend to love and live with forever. – Kindnoachs Jul 28 '22 at 19:56
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@Kindnoachs You’re a red blooded male, and it’s normal to have sexual desires. It’s also convenient to have someone to love and live with forever; because that enables you have easier access to fulfilling your desires. If that is your primary goal, then you need to give it your best shot, which in my opinion involves developing a deep relationship with her as a person, and can only be accomplished through abstinence before marriage. But as a Noahide, that is your own personal choice, and the Torah leaves it up to you to work out what you think is the best approach for you. – IsraelReader Jul 28 '22 at 20:34
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I am very thankful that you helped me so much. If I soon find maybe even my dream girl/wife, than I believe it is very important to get to each other very well, after that I believe it even can be good to have intercourse to strengthen the bond each other, what is your opinion on that? – Kindnoachs Jul 28 '22 at 20:59
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@Kindnoachs In my opinion, if someone is not enough of an adult to get married, that means that they’re not considered mature enough to take responsibility for their actions. Therefore they should not engage in adult behavior, such as marital relations, which requires an extreme level of personal responsibility. – IsraelReader Jul 28 '22 at 21:23
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@Kindnoachs A person might be biologically an adult, and have adult behavior, but if they’re under the legal age of majority, then the law still treats them as a child. A person may also legally be an adult, but like a child, they lack the maturity and responsibility that defines an adult character. In BOTH cases, they should not engage in adult activities, since they lack either legal or mental capacity. – IsraelReader Jul 28 '22 at 22:38
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I am 16 and in Germany (where I live) are sexual relationships at the age of 14 allowed.[I believe it shouldn't be at 14 years old]. Still i think that I really am pretty mature for my age and also think I can handle real relationships. But if I find a woman I will make sure to really get to know her to next detail before doing things as intercourse. – Kindnoachs Jul 28 '22 at 22:43
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before something like that can happen I would use contraceptives (When I someday can finance children than I would want many but in my opinion I'm too young to have them). The percentage that she'll get pregnant is practically 0. If however something like that would happen I would do anything in my power to take care of the child (I have a wonderful family that would support me if something like that would happen). – Kindnoachs Jul 28 '22 at 23:30
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"Casual sex also cheapens the sex act into something transactional" -- gee funny, the Rambam says explicitly that prostitution is allowed for non-Jews! (Though again, has to be consensual, and follow the laws of your land.) – Shalom Jul 29 '22 at 02:24
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@Shalom Just because transactional sex is permitted for non-Jews, that doesn't mean that it's a good thing for them to indulge in, since in the long run, this may hinder the person from being able to enter into solid long term relationships. – IsraelReader Jul 31 '22 at 14:45