PTIJ: Whose rabbinical supervision would Achashverush have used?

Question

This is a "theoretical" question, in a sense...

In Esther 8:5, it says:

וַ֠תֹּאמֶר אִם־עַל־הַמֶּ֨לֶךְ ט֜וֹב וְאִם־מָצָ֧אתִי חֵ֣ן לְפָנָ֗יו וְכָשֵׁ֤ר הַדָּבָר֙ לִפְנֵ֣י הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ וְטוֹבָ֥ה אֲנִ֖י בְּעֵינָ֑יו יִכָּתֵ֞ב לְהָשִׁ֣יב אֶת־הַסְּפָרִ֗ים מַחֲשֶׁ֜בֶת הָמָ֤ן בֶּֽן־הַמְּדָ֙תָא֙ הָאֲגָגִ֔י אֲשֶׁ֣ר כָּתַ֗ב לְאַבֵּד֙ אֶת־הַיְּהוּדִ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֖ר בְּכָל־מְדִינ֥וֹת הַמֶּֽלֶךְ׃

Summarizing the above - Esther requests that King Ahashverush issue a decree to have Haman's written decree returned. In that requests she says, "...And if the thing is kosher before the king".

At the end, the king did not issue the decree that Esther requested. So, this raises some questions.

Which kashrut agency would the king have used to certify this process? Was the reason that the king refused the new decree because he didn't trust that agencies kashrut, and if so, why? What was wrong with the kashrut?

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

score 13 · Answer 1 · answered Feb 28 '20 at 18:27

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I believe he held by the Morde-K

answered Feb 28 '20 at 18:27

rosends

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score 12 · Answer 2 · edited Feb 29 '20 at 16:59

When Esther heard about Achashverosh permitting Haman's original decree, and then about the over-restrictive "no-backsies" Persian meta-rule, she immediately responded "Oh, c'mon!" Therefore, she felt it appropriate to affix the O-Cmon kosher symbol to her proposed decree-retraction order.

Achashverosh, as the incumbent monarch, was naturally conservative, so common-sense reforms such as those Esther promoted under the O-Cmon naturally offended him. He'd governed for years with the "no-backsies" rule in place, so repealing it would only present a risk, as would approving of the O-Cmon's general ethos of devolved power. Therefore, he rejected the proposal.

So for Pesach he would use P-O-Cmon, or more commonly transliterated as Pokemon — manassehkatz-Moving 2 Codidact, Mar 01 '20 at 17:05

score 1 · Answer 3 · answered Feb 28 '20 at 16:13

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I think you're misunderstanding the posuk. Esther is saying that if the original decree was kosher, then the following steps would need to be taken to revoke it. If it wasn't, then it would be null and void anyway.

Haman had arranged to have his original decree certified kosher by, of course, Triangle-K, since he had an affinity for that shape anyway. Its kashrus is rather questionable, though, so Esther and Mordechai were able to convince Achashverosh to ignore it.

answered Feb 28 '20 at 16:13

Meir

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I don't eat triangle k, but whatever nonstandard kulos they use I don't think comparing them to haman is appropriate – Heshy Feb 28 '20 at 18:31
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@Heshy I don't know which is funnier. The answer or your comment. – DanF Feb 28 '20 at 18:41

score 0 · Answer 4 · answered Feb 29 '20 at 21:51

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As befits a King, he held by the best hechesher possible in the capital city, Shoshun Rabbinate Mahadrin, or "ShoMahadrin". Since moshgiach Mordechai pronounced the overturning of the decree chalak the new decree bore the ShoMahadrin seal.

answered Feb 29 '20 at 21:51

יהושע ק

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PTIJ: Whose rabbinical supervision would Achashverush have used?

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

4 Answers4