I am a married guy of 36 years of age, live in a Muslim country and been married to my spouse happily for about 8 years and have children. I have no issue with my first wife. I met a 22 year old orthodox christian girl online, started talking and we fell in love. I want to marry her and she wants it more than I do. She doesn't have intention to convert to Islam, she will remain a christian. The problem is that I haven't told her that I am married already. If I tell her, she will change her mind for sure. And my first wife doesn't know about it too. Question is: If I marry this christian girl, in the Islamic way, having two witnesses (who will be my friends) in the presence of an Imam in Masjid but we do not sign a civil contract, and I don't reveal my first marriage to her, and she doesn't tell her parents that she got married, will this nikah be valid in all of the above conditions?
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1Salam and welcome to IslamSE the Q&A site about Islam. To learn more about our site and model consider taking our [tour] and checking our [help]. – Medi1Saif Jul 31 '18 at 08:55
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2Would you want your wife to "marry" another man without telling you, and without telling that man that she is married? Would you want any of your children to do such an act (when they come to age)? A life built on lies, cheating and deception will do no good to you or anyone in your life. In my opinion, your best course of action is to tell that girl that you are married immediately, and either have her as wife in a proper way in addition to your current wife in a way both of them will be peaceful and accept each other, or end your relationship with her. – yenren Jul 31 '18 at 09:37
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Also, what if that girl is also married and hiding it from you? One shouldn't and can't expect honesty and just treatment from others if they don't show honesty and just treatment to them. May Allah protect your wife, children and that girl, and you from what you are considering of doing. – yenren Jul 31 '18 at 09:45
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A problem would be so called dating online, as dating is clearly haram. Also religion before love. Inshallah, the decision you take would be the right one and may allah guide you in the right direction. Take a look at this https://www.islamawareness.net/Marriage/fatwa_06.html – Riz-waan Jul 31 '18 at 22:49
1 Answers
No such a marriage is not valid. As a woman from among people of the Book can only be married with the agreement of her guardian. And you want to hide your marriage. While Allah ask us to ask for permission for marriage. and says:
This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers. And whoever denies the faith - his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers. (5:5)
Beside this we are only allowed to marry chaste ladies.
For details on chastity in this context see:
Can we marry non-chaste women of the book al kitaab?
And for the necessity of a guardian based on Qur'an see:
Why do only women need a wali for nikah?
Beside this you don't need an imam what you need is somebody who may write down the marriage contract. And the prophet also asked us to announce marriages so hiding them is only allowed in rare cases.
A man can marry a 2nd wife without telling his first wife, but it is not a good idea, because it may cause harm (or divorce) or might cause injustice for the off-spring in case of inheritance etc.. And even if there is no "clear" evidence or order or scholarly opinion to tell the wife and the to be wife it certainly seem to disagree with the kindness and trust which are necessary for a marriage. It is like cheating the wife by hiding an important information and would be even worse if she asked you and you lied about it.
IMHO this is hardly going along with the teachings of Islam as it sounds like secret marriage and leaves a bad taste on the spousal relationship.
Note that - secretly- chatting with this girl is a sin you must repent from first.
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Thanks for your response. Can you kindly shed more light considering the fact that she is chaste but still orthodox christian. Further, I would be thankful if you can share a reference on permission of her guardian being mandatory if she is among people of the book. – Justamuslim Jul 31 '18 at 09:04
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Thank you that was helpful. And how about the second wife not knowing about the first marriage? Is it necessary to tell her in order for nikah to be valid? – Justamuslim Jul 31 '18 at 09:27
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@Justamuslim among the things mentioned in 'aqd an-Nikah a woman may make it condition to be the lonely wife. But how and how long would you hide this? You are asked to treat your wives equally and it is best not to start a marriage with a lie or by hiding important information. But that' s up to you. It might lead to a sin or not. – Medi1Saif Jul 31 '18 at 09:43
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Although all of the answers by you brothers are very helpful, I still want to confirm if a marriage in such conditions would "technically" be valid and a sexual intercourse after accepting each other in the presence of an Imam and two witnesses would not be considered as zina? – Justamuslim Jul 31 '18 at 09:45
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@Justamuslim as long as her guardian (father) didn't accept the marriage it is illegal. If she is unchaste also. Allah sees and knows what you do people may not. If such a marriage has been made by fault an Islamic court hardly would nullify it. But that might be depending on the interpretation and fiqh school and the evaluation of the case. – Medi1Saif Jul 31 '18 at 09:48
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@Justamuslim Brother, there are mistakes that we sometimes do and regret for the rest of our lives. Not telling that girl that you are married and taking your relationship one step further will be one such mistake for you, please reconsider what you are thinking of doing. You don't have the right to ruin that girl's life, by having her, without telling her that you are married. That's not something a Muslim would do. May Allah prohibit. – yenren Jul 31 '18 at 09:54
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@Medi1Saif Can you please tell on what you base your statement "A man can marry a 2nd wife without telling his first wife"? Isn't that practically to live in a continuous lie? From what I understand from Quran, marriage is not about secretly satisfying emotional and sexual urges; marriage is about public declaration of such a bond and a commitment to each other, following what is ordered in Quran about marriage and family life. – yenren Jul 31 '18 at 10:11
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@Envayo it is neither my choice nor opinion but you may refer to Should a husband get the consent of his current wife ... and islamqa there's no clear order to do so, but I'd say that "live with them in kindness" 4:19 should or could be an evidence against this. – Medi1Saif Jul 31 '18 at 10:23
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There is a difference between "asking for permission of the first wife" and "telling the first wife about the new girl and telling the new girl about the first wife". The islamqa link consists of the opinion of a man, there's no reference to Quran or Prophet's life/sunnah as far as I can see. The SE link you provided does not have any reference to Quran or Prophet's life/sunnah regarding "it is ok not to tell the first wife about marrying again, and also not to tell the new girl about being already married." If you have any Quran or sunnah/hadith reference for that I would like to know. – yenren Jul 31 '18 at 10:33
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@Envayo the prophet pbuh himself -AFAIK- never informed his wives before marrying another. As marriage usually was accompanied by an announcement the former wives might have heard it then while the new wife should have known it before that might be the difference. And I'm not here to defend an opinion I'm against. – Medi1Saif Jul 31 '18 at 10:39