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Salam,
I am a 14 year old girl raised by a single mother. I know very little about my father who left my mum when i was 3 and i have never had the guts to ask my mom about him. you could say I'm not even interested to be honest. since we were kids my mom had lied to our school about my father. she told them he was living somewhere far off because of his job there. at first my mom just told us(me and my brother who is a year older) that if someone asks you both about your father tell them u don't know anything.

Time went on and obviously when we came to about 4th grade this excuse didn't work and so i had to go with my mom's lie i.e I told everyone my father was living far off because of his job. it's been like about 3 years ever since my mom introduced me to prayers and all the religious stuff and about a year ago i started taking it seriously and I really want to somehow stop lying to people at school. I'm tired of making things up because after one lie comes another. I thought of stopping all these lies but then I think of my mom who worked so hard to get us good education in a private school and how would my teachers and fellow mates think of her.

Also my brother goes to the same school so maybe I might be able to deal with people but what about him???
I've never discussed this topic with him either. I really want to stop this but I can't mortify my mom or cause problems for my brother.

Medi1Saif
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rameen
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    sorry about the title. its neither relevent and i added another extra "now" – rameen Feb 17 '16 at 10:24
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    Dear Rameen. I understand your ordeal but I fail to see the question, or how it is related to Islam. Can you rewrite your question such that the heart of it is clearly visible ? Please do take the time to rewrite your question, as it is only fair to those who will take the time to answer it. What is your dilemma exactly ? What is your question in relation to Islam ? – ZakC Feb 17 '16 at 10:29
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    i am sorry my question wasn't clear. i have been told loads of times people do not understand me. i am really bad at explaining. i just wanted to ask how should i, according to islam, deal with this situation. i mean if i stop lying, it will mortify and humiliate my mom and brother and on the other hand there's my religion. if even now my question is not related to islam then please dont mind ignoring my question because i am new here and do not know how to delete this question. – rameen Feb 17 '16 at 11:55
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    You could say he's dead. If he is dead to you, maybe it can be considered a half truth instead of a lie ? This is not a religion motivated advice. You can just say "I don't ever want to talk about him". Why would humiliate your mom ? What country do you live in ? – ZakC Feb 17 '16 at 16:00
  • @ZakariaChihani Thats not truth as he is not dead so lie would still be a lie. – Syedah Feb 17 '16 at 18:34
  • @rameen you dont need to tell others about your dad you can just mention that you dont want to talk about it and thats it,may Allah Swt bless you make things easy for you. – Syedah Feb 17 '16 at 18:36
  • I thinl this could be helpful http://islam.stackexchange.com/questions/28318/how-to-repent-from-lying – Medi1Saif Feb 18 '16 at 05:23
  • @zakaria chihani, i really cant just tell everyone he's dead because......i mean like a student in your class comes up saying their dad just died.....first that's again a lie as mr.servant mentioned and i have to make up a story aout the death, then tell them about the funeral...how it hurt me and all that. then everyone is gonna be like oooo your dad died, i am so sorry for you. i wish i had not lied in the first place......i really appreciate the fact that you took out time for me. thanks alot – rameen Feb 18 '16 at 12:04
  • @servant thanks. i could really use your advice. – rameen Feb 18 '16 at 12:08

2 Answers2

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If your mother asks you to do something haram, such as lying, you don't have to obey. I know you want to avoid hurting her, but lying is clearly haram.

If someone asks, I would either say I'm not comfortable talking about it, or tell the truth. Allah (SWT) will always bless you if you do what is right. But you can't rely on His blessings if you do what is haram.

devbanana
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  • thank you. your advice seems realistic. as for my mom asking me to lie.....she never did. yeah she lied to our school and then i had to go on with it as i grew up and yeah my life would have been filled with less sins if this was not the case but .... ok i do not have anything to say to defend myself – rameen Feb 19 '16 at 03:49
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Well i understand this question as an advice-request, which is mostly considered as off-topic or as a close reason here on Islam SE!

Because on one hand how to repent from a sin is already explained in some linked Posts! But anyway you could check some posts like What is the punishment of touching a non-mahram? And do these sins disappear if he is given the sharia'h punishment? or What should a girl do who is regretting messaging a boy she knows on Facebook from an anonymous account? After stopping this, is she a bad girl?.

As I'm not really good at giving advice and consider myself as a big sinner, i really dislike answering some questions if i can't help!
But as you know lying is bad and you really shouldn't continue with it.

So you have a couple of possibilities i could suggest and i don't know which one you should/could follow at least as this is something you might be able to judge much better then me:

  • I think if your mom continuous to tell those stories, it's she who is telling lies in first place so maybe you should convince her to stop doing it! It would the best for her in first place!
  • As most answers suggest if you've been asked you could always say, that you don't want to talk about this subject. That wouldn't be a lie, but maybe also it will lead to rumors and further questions or make people insist more in asking! So yes this might be helpful, but maybe also the total opposite!
  • At least i would suggest you to talk with your mother about this subject, about how you feel about those "stories" and that you, as you have been introduced and taught by her to be a religious and faithful girl, feel guilty about it.

May Allah guide you to a good solution!

Medi1Saif
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