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I'm in love with a Syrian born muslim. I am a christian British woman who has left a loveless marriage.The man I love has said that it would be virtually impossible for our relationship to ever be accepted by his family or community if I was divorced. My marriage was never consummated so I may be able to have it nullified. If this was the case and I had it nullified rather than being divorced, would the muslim community and his family be more likely to accept me?

Layla
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  • This may be a cultural thing. Islamically speaking, there is no stigma whatsoever with being divorced. In fact, all but two of the women the Prophet (saws) married were previously married. – Ansari Jul 22 '15 at 20:01

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I understand what you are talking about. The idea of not marrying divorced women is culture-driven and not Islam-driven. On the contrary, Prophet Muhammad who founded Islam actually encouraged marrying non virgins (e.g. divorced women, windowed, etc..) in his attempts to fix the morals of the Jahiliyyah period.

Being from a country where this cultural thing also exists, I can tell that nullifying the marriage would not make it sound different in any way to his family.

What I would do, is that I would encourage that person to ask himself the following questions:

  1. Do you really want to abide to a cultural rule, that neither originates from religion nor from common sense?
  2. Do you really want to abide by a cultural rule that was despised by prophet Muhammad?
  3. Do you really think that your marriage has to be "approved" by someone other than you and the person you are marrying?

If it is just about his family/community, I would say he has to stick to what he believes is right and ignore this cultural issue. Another less favored solution is that he could simply avoid saying that you were married before and hope that no one asks him/you this question explicitly.

Mohamed Khamis
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  • Thank you, this is very helpful. I do believe that it is more about his family not respecting me and thinking me unworthy I am also 5 years older than him. He is 30 and I am 35. He believes that this too would be another thing that would be frowned upon. It is just so sad, I love this man so much, yet I feel concerned that we could never have a proper future together. Just for further clarification, I would even consider becoming Muslim, would this have any bearing on things? Thank you again –  Jul 23 '15 at 18:24
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    @Layla Of course converting to Islam would make things easier. It can even be a source of pride to him and his family.. But I would still try to convince him that any decisions should be made independently of what those around him think, as long as they do not violate religion and common sense.. – Mohamed Khamis Jul 24 '15 at 09:56