how can i fix myself as a muslim?

Question

Brothers and sisters I am a 14 year year old boy who is addicted to masturbation. Here is my story.

Ever since I was seven, I lied to my parents about praying. I hated the Quran and Allah (astaghfurullah) and I just wanted to do everything my way. About one year ago, I was introduced to a thing called masturbating. I used to do it 3-6 times a day. I broke my fast for all of ramadan just from masturbation. So if I want to repent I will have to fast 1800 days. With that I have swore a lie unintentionally maybe 50 times. 150 days extra I need to fast.

My current state: I pray 5 times a day, and remember Allah in almost everything I do. I try to get up for tahajud, but can't (even with multiple alarm clocks). I masturbate 1 time every 2 to 6 days. Its very hard to lower my gaze because I have to work at a gas station, and women really have no respect for themselves anymore in the US. So they're practically half naked. And how am I supposed to lower my gaze if I'm serving this person.

How can I stop masturbating? and what can I do all about those days I have to fast.

Please reply to me with kindness, may Allah be kind to you.

Your primary focus as of now must be on quitting that harmful practice. For this you have strengthen your will power. I have suggested some guidelines here that can help you achieve this. Generally will power grows by doing things that empower your mind (intellect) and moderate your lust! So things like doing math, reading philosophical/contemplative books are helpful. — infatuated, Jun 16 '15 at 11:22
Some more points and elaboration here: http://islam.stackexchange.com/questions/12647/i-am-unmarried-how-to-keep-myself-clean#comment24338_12647 — infatuated, Jun 16 '15 at 11:24
Please do see "Hypersexuality, nymphomania and related medical conditions". I hope it helps. — servant-of-Wiser, Mar 10 '16 at 06:09

jikolp · Answer 1 · 2015-06-07T22:21:29.253

First of All, May Allah reward you for all the change that you have done. And may Allah keep you on the right path.

As for masturbation, you need to keep the following in your mind:

You need to fear Allah and remember that you are going to be asked about what you have done in this life and whatever act you are doing. You have to keep that all the time. Every time you are about to commit that act remember that and may Allah help you stop it ISA. And remember that you will get rewarded if you didn't do that act in case that you have intentions to do it and didn't do it.
I totally understand your point about living the US. It's very hard to lower ones gaze. Work harder and lowering your gaze. May Allah help you with that. And the same as the first point, you will get rewarded if you forced your self not to look to a woman or a lady that arouse your sexual desires.
Now, the advise from the prophet is try to get married as soon as possible, if it's really hard to find a wife then fasting. Fasting will keep your body in energy deprivation which will lower your sex drive. In general, eating less and exercising regularly will burn out most of the energy in your body that helps you stop this act. Please check the following link: http://sunnah.com/bukhari/30/15.
Distract yourself by other things. When you feel the urge to masturbate, try to distract yourself by going to the gym, meeting a good company, going to the masjid, etc... Try to engage yourself in any other thing that will distract you from feeling the need to do that. Preferably something that will burn your energy to feel knocked out and no need for masturbation.
Don't loose the faith in Allah that you will succeed in stopping this act and remember that even if you still doing it. Shaytan will try to convince you that you will never stop this and makes you loose your faith in yourself. Keep trying and trying. But each time try harder to achieve your goal.

References:

http://islamqa.info/en/329

@masfenix Comments are not intended for argument and debate, and especially not for discussing aspects of the answer that aren't even relevant to the actual question asked. — goldPseudo, Jun 08 '15 at 06:29
jazakallahkhair brother. But what can i do about all those days that i broke my fast in ramadan? What do you think i can do about them? — user287536, Jul 21 '15 at 01:44

score 1 · Answer 2 · answered Jun 09 '15 at 02:52

First and foremost, those desires are normal for a boy at your age. I say follow jikolp's advice, and while quitting, try not to force yourself. A habit is not easily broken, least of all, an addiction. So take it easy and take it slowly. Overtime you'll do it less and less until you stop altogether. It won't be easy, but seeing as you are dedicated, I believe that you can do it.

how can i fix myself as a muslim?

2 Answers2