Is it haram to choose to never marry?

Question

I just honestly fear getting married. My parents got divorced and it was very traumatic to witness such problems at a young age. Would it be haram to consciously choose to not get married and have children?

I've heard things for both sides but I'd like to know once and for all the truth behind this. Facts, surah, ayats, or hadith would be greatly appreciated for further research. Thank you for your time.

Answer 1

I never found any ayah or surah which say haram when you never married. In islam, marriage is worship. It is forbidden in islam is sex outside of marriage. Premarital sex is strictly prohibited in islam, and married could keep us from sex outside of marriage.

Answer 2

"And whatever the Messenger has given you - take; and what he has forbidden you - refrain from." Qur'an 59:7

Thus we have direct evidence from the Qur'an that it is incumbent upon all believers to obey the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu alayhi wa Salaam).

Having understood that, we find a hadith in which some men inquired about the worship of the Prophet of Allah (Sallallahu alayhi wa Sallam) and decided that they would engage themselves solely in Allah's worship, the implication being that they would not marry and thus abstain from having sexual relations. Upon hearing this, the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu alayhi wa Sallam) was upset and he chastised them so:

I swear By Allah that I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still, I observe fasting (sometimes) and break it (at others); I perform (optional) prayer (at night sometimes) and sleep at night (at others); I also marry. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah (i.e., my way) is not from me.” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

There is yet another incident of a notable companion, Uthman bin Maz'oon (RAA), whose wife complained to the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu alayhi wa Sallam) of his excessive worship (and thus his abstinence of physical relations with her). The hadith says that the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu alayhi wa Sallam) was visibly upset and chastised him, saying that "Allah has not deputed me to encourage any monastic life." [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monasticism#Islam]

There are innumerable such hadiths that encourage Muslims to get married and discourage them from leading a celibate life.

Thus, we can conclude that if Allah and His Messenger (Sallallahu alayhi wa Sallam) did not allow the Muslims to abstain from marriage for even noble reasons like worshipping Him, then how can the reasons cited by you hold any water for abstaining from marriage?

Secondly, just because you have seen firsthand a marriage go wrong, it does not imply that the institution of marriage itself is bad. Do not be like the cat that sat on a hot stove lid; henceforth it won't sit on a hot stove lid, but then it won't sit on a cold one either!

Marriage is the Sunnah not just of the last Messenger for mankind (Sallallahu alayhi wa Sallam); rather, it's the Sunnah of all Messengers of Allah (Alayhim as Salaam).