It is known that love before marriages are not at allowed. But can we please have Hadith or reference from Quran which clarifies the extent to which premarital love is permissible.?
Do we have any references to compare and learn from the moral.
well I would welcome the answer for almost all possible cases , but my main curiousity is about where two people from two different family and both being muslim fall in love after knowing one another .
Before marriage, every man is Non-mahram for a girl(except close relations, and i hope you are aware of those relations). And Islam does NOT allows any type of intimacy, specially physical, with them.
Here is the list of Mahram in Quran:
"And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed; indeed it was shameful and most hateful, and an evil way. Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your foster mother who breastfed you, your foster sisters, your wives' mothers, your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in -but there is no sin on you if you have not done so (to marry their daughters), the wives of your sons who spring from your loins, and two sisters in wedlock at the same time, except for what has already passed; verily Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. " [4:22-23]
Coming to the point of Love, first thing it that you have stay away from Any type of close contact with non-mahram. If you still fall in love, it can be due to many reasons, but once you know that you actually LOVE (please not the difference between love and Likeness), Then Still he is not your mahram.. so all the rules of non-mahram applies to him.
Almighty said, (Say to the believing men to lower their gazes and guard their chastity… And say to the believing women to lower their gazes and guard their chastity and not to display their charms in public.) (An-Nur 24: 30-31)
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Allah Subhanahu WaTaala says in the Holy Qur’an, in Surah An-Noor: O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaitan (Satan). And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaitan (Satan), then, verily he commands Al-Fahsha (i.e. to commit indecency), and Al-Munkar (disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islam, etc.)). And had it not been for the Grace of Allah and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. But Allah purifies (guides to Islam) whom He wills, and Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower. [Al-Qur’an 24:21]
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Umar (RA) narrated that the Blessed Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, “The man is never alone with a non-mahram woman but the third of them is Shaytan.”
So in short, you love a man or not, he will still remain for you a non-mahram, you dont get any type of special type of allowed relationship with him, in case you love him or dont.
The best solution in this case, is to do nikah as soon as possible. Because once you are in love someone,then its like a goldern oppurtunity for Shatian to make each your close to each other by giving you many many logical reasons, like "You love him, its ok to come close to him its of to talk to him,its fine if you touch him, just dont do it much, just little",, and many such waswasaas....
so Beware of ticks of shaitan and stay away from him,till the nikah.
if by love before marriage you mean having a relation with opposite gender,in islam it consider to be haram.as there is in Quran:
وَ لا مُتَّخِذاتِ أَخْدان Nesa/25
it contain a massage that you shouldnt have relationship with a person who is not mahram to you.
This is my opinion....
"My creed is love; wherever its caravan turns along the way that is my belief, my faith" ----Ibn Arabi
If the basic ingredient of "love" is understood as compassion and mercy then this is God's greatest attribute and one which all human beings must strive to achieve towards one another. The manners that it entails are behaviors and attitudes of kindness consideration, caring, grace, civility, respect...etc. These manners must be accorded to all irrespective of gender, body shape, color of skin, intellectual ability or any other differences. "Love" as defined above is not confined to humanity alone but must be given to all of God's creations. To "Love" God's creations is to learn how to "Love" God. Compassion and mercy are also the basic building blocks of marital relationships. However, in a marriage there is an additional component of "love" that is not there in any other type of relationship...sexual intimacy. This is a gift from God that helps to create a special bond between a married couple. In order to accord this gift the respect it deserves, it must be used within the framework of marriage. Sexual attraction allows 2 people to figure out if they want marriage or not. It is a very normal part of human beings and there is no need to be scared of it. What one has to beware of is its misuse. If Sexual attraction is misused to begin unhealthy relationships it is not good, if it is used to choose your partner in marriage...it is good.
Marriage--- “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect” (Quran 30:21). “O Humans revere your Guardian Lord, Who created you from a single soul created of like nature her mate, and from this scattered (like seeds) countless men and women. Reverence Allah through Whom you claim your mutual rights” (Quran 4:1). "They are your garments and you are their garments" (partial---2:187)
