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Sita asked Ram to kill golden dear. Did Ram refuse to kill the dear ?

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Sita did not initially ask Ram to kill the deer.

“O Son of a King, this marvellous fawn has taken possession of my heart; take it captive, O Great Warrior, it will serve as a plaything. [...] If you are able to capture it alive, it will prove an object of supreme wonder in the hermitage and when our exile is over it will be an ornament to the palace of the queens.

Only after that did she go on to say...

“O Lord! Prince Bharata and my mothers, seeing this celestially beautiful deer, will be struck with amazement. If you are not able to capture this wonderful fawn alive, its skin will be most precious, O Lion among Men. I shall delight to sit on its golden hide, strewn with kusha grass. I crave pardon if this cruel wish may seem unworthy of a woman, but the beauty of the deer excites my admiration!”

To which Ram responded:

“O Lakshmana, mark how this deer has excited Vaidehi’s desire. On account of its supreme beauty this fawn will lose its life to-day. [...] Truly exquisite, this gazelle and its counterpart in the heavens are both divine, the one amongst the stars and the other on earth, yet if you are certain that this is an illusion created by the titan, O Lakshmana, I will destroy it. That cruel and evil-souled Marica slew many great ascetics ranging in the forest; innumerable kings, armed with bows, hunting here, have fallen under his assaults when he assumed the shape of an illusive deer; let us therefore end his life. [...] “O Lakshmana, this titan will also be annihilated like Vatapi for having set me at nought, who am fixed in my duty and master of my senses. He shall meet his end, as did Vatapi who defied Agastya. [...] I shall either slay that deer or bring it back alive; till I return with the deer, which I shall do without delay, do you remain here with Sita, O Son of Sumitra. She shall have the fawn; its skin will cost it its life this day. Now keep watch over Sita in the hermitage. Till with a single arrow I have brought down this dappled fawn and slain it, do you stay here, O Lakshmana, with the mighty raven, Jatayu, who is strong and wise and ever engaged in pious acts, and protect Maithili in every way.”

So, no: Ram did not refuse to kill the deer; in fact, he was enthusiastic to do it, knowing that his wife desired it and that it was an opportunity to kill Maricha.

All quotes from Ramayana 3.43

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