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As a follow-up to a recent question Dharmic role of wife in marriage, what are the duties of an ideal husband?

  • Biggest question is - what happens when husband says one thing which wife refuses, or wife says one thing which husband refuses - who should obey whom ? If both of them feel they are right, whose opinion takes precedence? In which matters does wife have to obey husband, and in which matters does husband have to agree with wife ? – ram Jan 06 '18 at 14:04
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    @Ram They both are on equal platform so whatever will support dharma (law) will happen legally before and today. – Fierce lord Jan 06 '18 at 14:10
  • @Fiercelord, then the biggest question becomes what is dharma. If husband says X is dharma, but wife disobeys, or wife says Y is dharma but husband disagrees, or they argue that X is more (or less) important than Y.. and X & Y are mutually exclusive (meaning only one path can be taken), then which one should they follow ? – ram Jan 06 '18 at 14:12
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    @Ram we read shastras etc diffrent laws right? but the truth is one as mahabharata in this refrence :—

    Righteousness begets happiness as its fruit

    —  Bhishma , Shanti Parva, Mahabharata Book xii.259.5-25

    In heart we know what is right and your question if who should obey who? then every thing which is right should happen like you know indra told yudhishthir that taking dog to heaven is wrong krodhvasna will take all his merits but dharma regarded yudhisthira as who is devoted should not be leaved and is equal to killing a brahmana superior(although indra was too part of the play) if g

     – Fierce lord Jan 06 '18 at 14:35
  • @Fiercelord, if you think dharma is that easy, let me give you scenario. manu smriti says "if husband goes abroad for sake of dharma, let a wife wait for 3 years". it also says "reprehensible is the man who does not approach his wife in due season". Question is- which dharma takes precedence? Wife wants husband to stay with her. Husband wants to go abroad for work. It also says wife should serve husband, and husband should keep wife happy. In this scenario they are mutually exclusive. So who should obey whom ? Lot of marriages - boy in other country, girl in India, so relevant for society. – ram Jan 06 '18 at 14:41
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    Then it should me mutually discussed a kind contract should be happening which really happens and your verses they say according to me comming once only in a season doesn' mean every year its only for child birth.

    Otherwise in ramayana whole story is supported on dharma even for vanavasa to returning. :-)

     – Fierce lord Jan 06 '18 at 15:01
  • @ram Why can't he take her to abroad with him? –  Jan 08 '18 at 04:34
  • @Secret, different countries have different visa waiting periods. – ram Jan 12 '18 at 14:38

1 Answers1

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  1. Women must be honoured and adorned by their fathers, brothers, husbands, and brothers-in-law, who desire (their own) welfare.

  2. Where women are honoured, there the gods are pleased; but where they are not honoured, no sacred rite yields rewards.

  3. Where the female relations live in grief, the family soon wholly perishes; but that family where they are not unhappy ever prospers.

  4. The houses on which female relations, not being duly honoured, pronounce a curse, perish completely, as if destroyed by magic.

  5. Hence men who seek (their own) welfare, should always honour women on holidays and festivals with (gifts of) ornaments, clothes, and (dainty) food.

  6. In that family, where the husband is pleased with his wife and the wife with her husband, happiness will assuredly be lasting.

  7. For if the wife is not radiant with beauty, she will not attract her husband; but if she has no attractions for him, no children will be born.

  8. If the wife is radiant with beauty, the whole house is bright; but if she is destitute of beauty, all will appear dismal.

— Book3:manusmriti

source:— http://www.sacred-texts.com/hin/manu/manu03.htm

Another here:—

  1. He who carefully guards his wife, preserves (the purity of) his offspring, virtuous conduct, his family, himself, and his (means of acquiring) merit.

—Book9.7:manusmriti

source:— http://www.sacred-texts.com/hin/manu/manu09.htm

No man, even in anger, should ever do anything that is disagreeable to his wife; for happiness, joy, virtue and everything depend on the wife. Wife is the sacred soil in which the husband is born again, even the Rishis cannot create men without women.

—  Adi Parva, Mahabharata Book, 1.74.50-51

Fierce lord
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  • so.. whose fault is it if the wife is not attracted to the husband, or the husband is not attracted to the wife.. attraction includes physical (beauty) or mental (guna) – ram Jan 06 '18 at 14:07
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  • For if the wife is not

    • radiant with beauty, she will not attract her husband; but if she has no attractions for him, no children will be born.

    no ones fault it is all about whose what? matters more? and its explained if any queries let me know. ;)

    – Fierce lord Jan 06 '18 at 14:21
  • What beauty it is? Physical? In 61 and 62. –  Jan 08 '18 at 04:09
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    Only honoring wife is his duty, but for wife so many :( –  Jan 08 '18 at 04:28
  • Haha :-) don't be sad @Secret the others some like be in home always and some are forcefully loaded.Have a look:— https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_Hinduism

    other in my view nutrition(wife) protection(male) that's how the farm of family goes on.

     – Fierce lord Jan 08 '18 at 08:41
  • @Secret i don't know about 62 may be internal/external or may be denoting happiness as beauty as 57 possibely according to me internal. – Fierce lord Jan 08 '18 at 12:53