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Consider the following situation. I'm talking to a friend who says "One of my friends is a student of so-and-so,", and I immediately ask, "Oh, what's his name?", before being told "'her name', actually, is Alice."

How do I stop doing that? The underlying problem I want to fix is the bias in my own head -- I'm not just looking to fix the problem by replacing "his name" with "their name" in my question. I would hope that sufficiently many episodes like this would be enough to fix it eventually, but I fear that there are too many situations of the other kind, wherein I ask "What's his name?" and get "Bob", for my subconscious to ever fully absorb it.

Regardless, my question is this: are there any concrete, actionable things I could be doing to get rid of the bias in my head?

I'm not sure how much my own gender is relevant, which I'd like to keep hidden to encourage broader answers.

I'm also aware that this question isn't strictly academia-related, but it is worth pointing out that this only happens to me in an academic (possibly field-specific) setting, i.e. if told "One of my friends recommended this book to me," I am fairly sure I would respond "Oh, what's their name?".

Edits, for more detail: I work in a male-dominated field, and I think/speak primarily in American English.

user124280
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  • In which language do you speak and in which language do you think? – user111388 May 18 '20 at 19:20
  • Maybe off topic, I guess, but an important question for academics. – Buffy May 18 '20 at 19:51
  • It might also help to think about successful women in your field. I understand subconscious bias, but if you were to somehow meet Marie Curie, I imagine you would respect her knowledge of chemistry and physics. Then it's just one step away from that to "what if this person is as accomplished as Marie Curie or [insert name from your field]?" A funny story relating to this point (not about Marie Curie, but it made me laugh) – Nathan majicvr.com May 19 '20 at 13:30

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Is your academic field male-dominated? I imagine that this is what might encourage you to make these assumptions, if you do not make them in other areas of your life.

For me the main thing was to try to systematically use gender-neutral pronouns, in writing and in speech. Training yourself to do this forces you to confront your bias, and eventually this should become a habit. You will also notice such assumptions made by other people, especially in papers.

This being said, if you are aware of the problem and of these assumptions, you are probably already halfway there. :)

a3nm
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    +1 Practice makes perfect. In fact for me it has been practicing on this very site. There are so many questions about "my advisor", "one of my students", "the professor for the class", etc. here where the gender is never subsequently specified and there is a similar amount of need to speak about some generic student or professor. All of those are wonderful opportunities to try and not make unnecessary assumptions. – mlk May 19 '20 at 12:01