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I've recently been asked to write a letter of recommendation for tenure and promotion for my former advisor from graduate school. This is for a potential promotion/tenure a few years down the line.

My time in grad school was one of the darkest periods of my life. My former advisor was verbally abusive, demanding, and insulting. The way they treated me, and the stress that came with it, led to severe problems with anxiety and depression to the point where I became suicidal. I'm also not the only student who's had these kind of problems with them: I know of at least one other student who's had serious mental health problems due to their experiences as their graduate student under the same professor.

The problem is I'm still potentially reliant on my former advisor. I'm now working full-time outside academia, and I'm applying for employment-based permanent residency in the United States. One of the requirements for that is a set of experience letters from a few previous employers or professors that states what skills you're bringing to the job (to justify why the company is hiring you instead of an American). This is a signed letter saying something like:

This person was a student of mine from date A to date B, I have direct personal knowledge of their work, they took courses on X, Y, and Z topics, and demonstrated skills A, B, and C through the course of their research/work.

This advisor has already refused to sign such a letter for another student who left the lab on bad terms after standing up to the abuse.

Without permanent residency, I'd be forced to leave the country in the coming years when my work visa expires. I've spent long enough here that my entire life is here, and so anything that could potentially put it in jeopardy makes me extremely cautious.

The request states that my letter will be kept confidential, but my former advisor has supervised relatively few students overall. My understanding is that any points I bring up in my letter will be discussed with them as part of their review process, and so there's a good chance they'll know it was me.

I see three possible options:

  1. Write the letter honestly, holding them accountable for their actions, but leaving myself open to the risk that they'll know I wrote something negative and retaliate by refusing to cooperate with my immigration process.
  2. Politely decline to write the letter, which doesn't hold them accountable, and could still cause them to refuse when I ask them for the favour of signing the experience letter.
  3. Grit my teeth and write something reasonably neutral in the letter, letting them potentially go on to harm more students in the future.

None of these are good options, and I'm not sure what the best course of action here is.

AnonymousFormerStudent12345
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    Will you be able to muster letters from past employers/professors other than the toxic one? – Aaron Brick Feb 19 '20 at 07:31
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    Are you working with a lawyer on your permanent residency application? Consider asking them if the letter can come from the department chair/dean/graduate program chair/etc instead of from the abusive professor. IANAL but I have a hard time believing that the legal requirements cannot be satisfied without relying on the charity of a single unstable, toxic individual (or one individual of any kind; surely some allowance must be made for people falling ill, dying, changing workplaces and not answering their old email address, etc.?) – Dan Romik Feb 19 '20 at 08:48
  • As a fourth possibility, you could visit or call the recipient of any such recommendation letters. – user2768 Feb 19 '20 at 09:10
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    Are you as reliant on your former advisor as you think? I do not see that a green card application strictly requires letters of recommendation, e.g.: https://www.uscis.gov/working-united-states/permanent-workers/employment-based-immigration-second-preference-eb-2 – perenniallydisappointed Feb 19 '20 at 10:44
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    I agree with the other comments: while your former advisor would have been a natural choice to write this letter for you if your relationship with them had been healthy and solid, because it isn't they are a particularly poor choice. Attesting that you have certain skills as evidenced through taking certain courses and completing a PhD program can be done by other faculty members in your department, surely. – Pete L. Clark Feb 19 '20 at 13:54
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    I'm very sorry that you experienced that abuse and have been put in this situation. It is definitely your former advisor's fault, not yours. – Greg Martin Feb 19 '20 at 16:40
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    I am working my employer’s lawyers on this and have my own independent lawyer that I can consult with if need be.

    It’s true that the letters aren’t strictly required, but they are generally a part of the complete documentation package. I’m not entirely sure of the likely consequences of missing one, but I suspect I’d be risking further complications or additional scrutiny.

    Getting another person in the department to sign the letter is an option I’m considering, but usually the letters involve asking the person to certify that they supervised you and had direct experience with your work.

     – AnonymousFormerStudent12345 Feb 20 '20 at 03:31
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    In addition to the other good advice here, you could always request an informal, confidential meeting with the department member who is making the request. Explain the situation so that they're aware of your concerns, both about the professor and your future - see if you can't work out a solution that gets you both what you want before you put anything to an official written record. – J... Feb 20 '20 at 14:59
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    Who asked you to write the letter? Such letters are usually solicited by tenure committees, in which case the prof will likely never know what the letter says, or even who actually wrote the letters. If its the prof saying "write me a letter so I can give it to my chair in a few years", that's just odd, and certainly not a typical experience in the United States. – Scott Seidman Feb 20 '20 at 21:53
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    Be aware that, even if you choose option 3, your former advisor might still refuse to cooperate if they think your recommendation letter is "not good enough". Basically, there's no way you can make sure that this abusive person won't hurt you again, no matter what you do; so you might as well do the right thing and expose their behavior. – walen Feb 21 '20 at 13:05
  • You say the university will keep the letter confidential but you worry that you'll be identified by the topics brought up in a discussion with him. But if you don't write the letter (your option #2) then does this not just mean that the university won't have anything (of yours) to discuss and so the professor will never know that you refused? So it truly will be confidential? – komodosp Feb 21 '20 at 13:26
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    “... and have my own independent lawyer that I can consult with if need be.” Well buddy, I don’t mean to be harsh but it sounds like you haven’t consulted your lawyer about my suggestion, when that’s absolutely the first thing you should be doing in this situation. Please don’t waste any more time with stack exchange, ignore the highest voted answer (entertaining but completely impractical advice IMO) and all the other ones, and go ask your lawyer (not your employer’s or anyone else’s) how to get your permanent residency without a letter from Crazy Advisor. I’d bet money it can be done. – Dan Romik Feb 22 '20 at 00:11

5 Answers5

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Get your former advisor to sign the letter now.

After that has succeeded or failed, you should contact the person who runs this process and ask them verbally how the letter will be used and what it contains. Probably this is a dean. Probably the dean already knows about your advisor's behavior. They might be seeking a letter that will help them get rid of your former advisor. At well-run universities, these letters are not requested from random students. They come from known students.

You should write an honest letter.

There is an option you do not mention: You can "damn with faint praise." This is done by writing a letter which says nice things about a person, but none of the nice things are relevant to the person's job. E.g. They are funny and well-dressed. I don't recommend this but it is available to you. If done carefully, it can prevent promotion while giving the illusion that you intended to help the advisor.

Anonymous Physicist
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    That last paragraph of yours is hideously insidious. +1 – João Mendes Feb 19 '20 at 15:43
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    @JoãoMendes I've seen that recommendation before in multiple places for reference letters as a way of preventing retaliation via accusations of libel – anjama Feb 19 '20 at 16:53
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    Signing the letter now is not yet possible.

    When applying for permanent residence, the employer is required to put up a job posting for your job, effectively to try to replace you with an American or existing PR. The letters are used as evidence showing you had the skills listed in that posting before you started the job.

    That means that getting the letter and job posting drafted is a long process involving my bosses, the company’s lawyers, and HR. I could push them to get it sooner, but i don’t have high hopes. Meanwhile, the university is asking for the recommendation letter now.

     – AnonymousFormerStudent12345 Feb 20 '20 at 03:41
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    Your other point, about talking to the dean, is possible. Let me think about it. – AnonymousFormerStudent12345 Feb 20 '20 at 03:51
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    Third paragraph is missing Then, and only thereafter... - Anything that could potentially put your residence in jeopardy makes it a thing that must not be. Unless you paid tuition to practice altruism, how is anything other than 3: smile and nod your head, even a considerable option? Then afterwards, you can walk loudly and carry a big stick. – Mazura Feb 20 '20 at 04:00
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    Why is it not an option to decline mentioning a conflict of interest? That in itself should be a red flag, but none that the former advisor will be able to trace. – FooBar Feb 20 '20 at 10:26
  • @FooBar Because all students asked to write this letter have the same conflict of interest. You could do it, but it would sound silly. – Anonymous Physicist Feb 20 '20 at 10:39
  • Exactly because the CoI is built into the request, I'd expect that those who mention it are those afraid of retribution... but perhaps that's only me. – FooBar Feb 20 '20 at 11:09
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    Code phrases: "You would be lucky to get him to work for you." – Cristobol Polychronopolis Feb 20 '20 at 14:42
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    Heh heh. Final paragraph. "Cannot recommend him too highly." – puppetsock Feb 20 '20 at 14:56
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    @AnonymousPhysicist I have to disagree with your last comment. Unless all of the advisor's other former students also need green-card recommendation letters, they don't have the same conflict of interest as OP. – JeffE Feb 20 '20 at 17:17
  • @JeffE They are all likely to need a letter of some kind for an important purpose. The green card part is irrelevant. – Anonymous Physicist Feb 21 '20 at 00:01
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    They all likely could use a letter of some kind for an important purpose, but stating a conflict of interest is tantamount to an admission of guilt such as pleading the fifth. The jury will be asked to ignore that fact but they will not, because they are human, same as this professor who is this OP's sole meal ticket. A 'mistrial' would mean deportation. Not that it's ontopic, nor could there be a worse site to ask this to get a straight answer, but the green card is the only part of this question that is relevant. – Mazura Feb 21 '20 at 02:21
  • Asked to write a letter of recommendation for promotion for an abusive former professor who is the sole person with the power to grant me residency in the US? - "If someone asks you if you're a god. YOU SAY, 'YES!'." – Mazura Feb 21 '20 at 02:30
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    "What Professor Name very much lacks in social grace and decorum, he makes up well in research capabilities. Professor Name is an expert at producing students who know that they should do nothing at all but work up to 18 hours per day, which in some cases will increase research output dramatically." – Skies burn Feb 21 '20 at 17:27
  • @AnonymousPhysicist In my experience, former PhD students rarely need letters from their advisors more than a few years after graduation except for visa applications. Also, "likely to need a letter" is not the same as "needs a letter". – JeffE Feb 23 '20 at 03:32
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I read this with interest bc I had the same experience and felt the same way with one of my advisers who also happened to teach several of the classes for the program I was in. I was going to be a teacher and he made it so miserable that, while I finished the program, I decided not to pursue teaching. I had one last requirement, to create a personal portfolio to have when I interviewed for jobs, and he wanted to abuse me one more time so kept making me jump through ridiculous hoops. I finally refused any more abuse, so he refused to officially sign off that I completed the program and the University wouldn't help me bc he was tenured and untouchable. (They agreed with my concerns!) It's 10 years later and I still have this unresolved thing I have to explain when pursuing new employment.

If you contribute to his/her tenure, it will only embolden them to mistreat students even more and it could be life-changing for many of them. I suggest you follow some of the great advice above that leads to a path that you don't support the tenure while still ensuring your needs are taken care of.

Postscript: A few years after I moved on with my life, I heard my adviser died. Maybe you'll get lucky...sounds cold but when people are this despicable, they don't deserve kindness even after they leave this world.

LDPMAIL
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It seems that your core issue is that you've got three different things tangled up into one mess:

  • You want a letter from your former advisor to support your immigration process.
  • Your former advisor was abusive.
  • Someone is asking you to write a letter supporting your former advisor's promotion.

Personally, I don't think any of the three options you presented in your question are complete in terms of addressing each of these three things appropriately. You may be better served to separate the three and conquer them individually.

  • Determine if you have other sources for a recommendation, besides your advisor. Perhaps the letter could come from a department head or another professor.
  • Decline the request to write a letter recommending your former advisor. Whomever is asking will likely get the message. You certainly don't want to actually write a positive letter, and a letter of recommendation is not the ideal channel for dealing with abuse. Further, it would be legitimate to indicate that you don't feel comfortable writing a letter of recommendation, since you are still (indirectly) dependent on this professor writing a letter recommending you, and hence there is a conflict of interest. Which leads to,
  • Follow up with the dean of academic affairs, department head, or other appropriate authority within your university in terms of reporting the abuse you suffered.
dwizum
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This is a tough situation.

You should not write a dishonest letter. That will make you look bad and, if it helps the professor abuse more students, then that should rest on your conscience.

You say the letter will be kept confidential, but obviously that may not be entirely true. The professor will get some feedback about it -- at the very least he will learn whether or not he got the promotion. Depending on local laws, he may have a legal right to access the letter.

Given this, I would, in your situation, either decline or write a perfunctory letter -- something which does not say anything false, but also doesn't say much at all. I think that will get enough of a message across.

In terms of your PERM, you should talk to your employer's immigration lawyers to see if someone else can sign the letter. Perhaps that's nonstandard, but, if I were you, I wouldn't want an abusive former advisor involved with immigration at all.

Thomas
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Another option which may or may not be available to you would be to see if you can find an appropriate contact for whoever will be reviewing the letters or running the overall evaluation process and explain your conflict of interest and fear of possible repercussions, and ask if there is some way you can provide additional feedback "off the record" (even if they do not accept "off the record" input, the mere fact that you expressed a desire for it may give them reason to investigate further).

Alternately (or additionally), if you know of other people who have had similar experiences with the professor (such as the other student you mentioned who left on bad terms) but have not been asked to write recommendations, you could let them know about the reviewers' contact information, and encourage them to reach out to them and offer their own input, separately from whatever you submit.

Foogod
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