Spoon, a term for an eating utensil that is considered an inherently funny word, has been featured in many quotations.

Quotes

Alphabetized by author or specified source

• Ugh, he spooned me
  • Random guard, after being hit in the stomach with a ladle in Aladdin

• High diddle diddle,
  The Cat and the Fiddle,
  The Cow jump'd over the Moon,
  The little dog laugh'd to see such Craft,
  And the Dish ran away with the Spoon.
  • Anonymous nursery rhyme, "Hi Diddle Diddle" in Mother Goose's Melody (c. 1765)
  • Variant: Hey diddle diddle,
    The cat and the fiddle,
    The cow jumped over the moon,
    The little dog laughed to see such sport,
    And the fork ran away with the Spoon
    • The Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes (1951) edited by Opie and P. Opie

• Better take her to the White Queen, she'll be safe there. Spoon.
  • The March Hare, in Alice in Wonderland

• She came in through the bathroom window, protected by a silver spoon.
  • The Beatles
• What did the fork say to the spoon? Who was that ladle I saw you with last night? That was no ladle that was my knife!
  • The Joker
• Do you know that's the third spoon I've heard drop this month?
  • Algy Longworth, in Bulldog Drummond

• And the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon,
  Little Boy Blue, and the Man in the Moon
  When you coming home Dad?
  I don't know when — we'll get together then, Son,
  You know we'll have a good time then.
  • Harry Chapin, in "Cats in the Cradle"

• Check it out, Guys. I got a Springfield spoon for my spoon collection... if it weren't for my spoons, I'd probably go insane.
  • Adam Clayton of U2 in an episode of The Simpsons

• You there! What the hell is this?
  • Father Jack, in Father Ted

• You spoony bard!
  • Tellah, in Final Fantasy IV

• A man that's fond precociously of stirring,
     Must be a spoon.
  • Thomas Hood, Morning Meditations (1839), St. 10

• Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon.
  • Eddie Izzard

• They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon.
  • Edward Lear, in The Owl and the Pussycat (1871)

• The Dolomphious Duck,
  who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner
  with a Runcible Spoon
  • Edward Lear, in Twenty-Six Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures

• We found this spoon sir.
  • Sergeant, in Life of Brian

• Mike Wazowski: I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.
  James P. Sullivan: … Spoons.
  • Dialogue from Monsters Inc.

• A sweet lounge lizard, with a silver spoon,
  • Motorhead, in Stone Dead Forever

• Sheriff of Nottingham: Locksley! I'm gonna cut your heart out with a spoon.
  Guy of Gisbourne: Why a spoon cousin? Why not an axe?
  Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's dull, you twit! It'll hurt more.
  • Dialogue in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

• Just when I thought things couldn't get any better... he spooned me.
  • Carrie, Sex and the City

• Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil.
  • William Shakespeare in The Comedy of Errors; original orthography: Marrie he must haue a long spoone that must eate with the diuell

• That tall drink of water with the silver spoon up his ass.
  • Red, in The Shawshank Redemption

• Australian: "You call that a knife? This is a knife!"
  Bart Simpson: "That's not a knife; that's a spoon."
  Australian: Alright, alright, you win. I see you've played knifey-spoony before.
  • The Simpsons This should have an episode citation added.

• Spoon!!!
  • Battle cry of The Tick

• I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth
  • Substitute, The Who

• There is no spoon.
  • "Spoon Boy" in, The Matrix by the Wachowski brothers, indicating that all perceptions of external objects as entirely separate entities are constructs of the mind; this was also quoted in response to the rather grisly death of Private Witherspoon in the horror film Dog Soldiers (2002).

• They'll eat their words with a fork and spoon, and watch 'em!
  They'll hit the road and all be surfin' soon.
  • Brian Wilson and Mike Love, in "Catch a Wave" for The Beach Boys

• The spoon came alive with spoon-ness and the ball with ball-ness and the block with block-ness, and the girl laughed.
  • Roger Zelazny in Lord of Light

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