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I have heard from some people that scriptures sanction marriage for girls before puberty. Some people also say that it is sinful for a girl to marry after puberty and that such girls should atone for them. Are these people correct from the point of scriptures? If yes, is there a prayaschitta for this? What is the prayaschitta?

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    I think not only for girls, but for entire family. –  Dec 05 '17 at 05:52
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    It is duty of father to marry off girl before puberty. Modern 'scholars' would cry child-marriage. Westerners would call it worse. But physical relations do not happen until after she's gone through menarche. And usually not for a couple years after. In other countries, physical relations would happen after puberty due to natural urges of boys and girls. Our tradition is to prevent wayward danger, and control it within framework of marriage, while still allowing for natural kama to take its course. Coming to the point of 'sin'.. there is a prayaschitta Rtu Shanthi homa that vaidika families.. – ram Dec 05 '17 at 15:59
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    ..conduct even nowadays when girl is married after puberty (due to Sharda act and fearing legal and societal consequences). If girl is not married off until 16, like in circumstances where nobody comes asking for her hand, or her elders couldn't find suitable groom, then she has right to choose her own husband (swayamvara), and i don't think a sin accrues on that case. – ram Dec 05 '17 at 16:00
  • @ram I am so shocked right now. What about boys? –  Dec 05 '17 at 16:01
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    I read that, when Sharda act was passed, the vote was divided 50-50 (not unanimous), but British govt., in a parting shot, passed it anyway - Source - kamakoti.org . That is what's shocking.. For boys, marriage is not as important a samskara as it is for girls. For them, it is upanayana ceremony, where they approach a Guru. That's why they say the Guru-shishya relation is similar to Pati-Patni relation, and that's why both happened around age 7 for boys and girls in olden days. Boys must not marry until they have finished gurukula, which is ~8-12 years after upanayana i.e. 16-20 years old – ram Dec 05 '17 at 16:03
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    Even after gurukula, boys have an option of - Naishtika brahmacharya (lifelong celibacy).. or sanyasa (lifelong celibacy + renunciation of world and its relations), or gruhasthasrama (married life). Girls do not have such option, and it is not recommended for them to be spinsters (although there are extremely rare exceptions). – ram Dec 05 '17 at 16:07
  • @ram So weird –  Dec 05 '17 at 16:08
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    why is it weird.. what's weird is what happens in other countries, and also in India nowadays – ram Dec 05 '17 at 16:08
  • @ram What's weird nowadays? –  Dec 05 '17 at 16:09
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    boys and girls having the urge to have physical relations after puberty while society forces them to wait until they're 20 to marry, and as a result, they succumb to it directly or through censored media (movies,internet) – ram Dec 05 '17 at 16:10
  • @ram Rofl. Btw didn't women have Gurukul? –  Dec 05 '17 at 16:11
  • Their gurukul was their marriage to the husband, who would teach her shastras through itihasa-puranas. – ram Dec 05 '17 at 16:12
  • @ram And um...women had upanayana also right? –  Dec 05 '17 at 16:13
  • .......no...... – ram Dec 05 '17 at 16:24
  • @ram so women are not allowed to study Vedas??? –  Dec 05 '17 at 16:25
  • they can learn the purport of vedas through itihasa puranas prabandhams shlokas etc. – ram Dec 05 '17 at 22:38
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    @ram Wiki says "In ancient and medieval eras, texts such as Harita Dharmasutras, Asvalayana Grhya Sutra and Yama smriti suggest women could begin Vedic studies after the Upanayana rite of passage." –  Dec 07 '17 at 16:40

2 Answers2

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It is not a sin for the girl. It is a sin for the father. Because, as per the Smritis, a young girl is not allowed to act independently or take independent decisions.

At that time, when marriage is supposed to occur, she should be under the control and protection of her father and so it's the father's responsibility to marry her off at the correct time.

Manu Smriti 5.148. In childhood a female must be subject to her father, in youth to her husband, when her lord is dead to her sons; a woman must never be independent.

So, by not marrying her off at the prescribed time, it's the father who incurs guilt. The girl is not held responsible.

Manu Smriti 9.4. Reprehensible is the father who gives not (his daughter in marriage) at the proper time; reprehensible is the husband who approaches not (his wife in due season), and reprehensible is the son who does not protect his mother after her husband has died.

As per the Yama Smriti, apart from the father, the girl's mother and her eldest brother also incur the guilt.

The father who does not, give away [in marriage] his maiden-daughter after she has attained the twelfth year, drinks her menstrual month blood, after month. (22)

By beholding a maiden in [her] menses, her mother, and father, her eldest brother these three go to hell (23)

Yama Smriti 1-22,23

So, as you can see, nothing is being said for the girl. Only the parents and eldest brother are held responsible.

And, if a girl is not married off even after attaining the right age for it, then she can act independently and choose for her a husband.

Manu Smriti 9.91. If, being not given in marriage, she herself seeks a husband, she incurs no guilt, nor (does) he whom she weds.

Rickross
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  • What about boys? –  Dec 07 '17 at 16:33
  • No such rules for the boys. @SuryaKantaBoseChowdhury – Rickross Dec 07 '17 at 16:35
  • So they can marry at any age? –  Dec 07 '17 at 16:41
  • @SuryaKantaBoseChowdhury Yes it seems. :D – Rickross Dec 07 '17 at 16:41
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    It seems that my mind has some feminism –  Dec 07 '17 at 16:43
  • @SuryaKantaBoseChowdhury It must have been said so for their good only. We can not always understand the whole purpose behind every such injunctions. – Rickross Dec 07 '17 at 16:45
  • Yeah but then people say Manusmriti is interpolated –  Dec 07 '17 at 16:55
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    But all Smritis say more or less the same things. So people must have spent whole days interpolating to accomplish such a feat.. :D @SuryaKantaBoseChowdhury – Rickross Dec 07 '17 at 16:57
  • I am desperately hoping that there is a text that would contradict this. –  Dec 07 '17 at 17:01
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    I think kushmanda homam is done by father nowadays to get rid of the sins occurred due to giving away daughter after her puberty. –  Mar 03 '18 at 16:50
  • You have Yama Smriti? Does it allow women to become Brahmavadinis? – Spark Sunshine Aug 29 '19 at 04:55
  • No it does not allow but probably it says in ancient times they used to become but not now (the time of Yama Smriti and thereafter) @SparkSunshine – Rickross Aug 29 '19 at 05:58
  • Can you explain how? – Spark Sunshine Aug 30 '19 at 15:30
  • It is stated that in some ancient times even girls used to undergo sacred thread ceremony with their father initiating them. But not possible now. What explanation you want? I will check those verses more thoroughly and update you in case I missed some details. @SparkSunshine – Rickross Aug 31 '19 at 06:31
  • @SparkSunshine " In ancient times girls were entitled to be invested with sacred girdle, to teach the Vedas (or to be taught the Vedas), and to recite the Savitri.'" -- Some manuscripts attribute this verse to Yama some to Manu. Harita also says that women should undergo Upanayana. He talks about two kinds of women - Brahmvadini and Sadyvadhu -- both must go through Upanayana. But the verse says that such a thing used to happen in some ancient Kalpa. So, that implies "now" it does no longer happen. – Rickross Aug 31 '19 at 07:07
  • Another thing stated is that the girls should be taught by their father, uncles or brothers in their homes but not by strangers. – Rickross Aug 31 '19 at 07:08
  • I will post a question regarding this, would you answer? – Spark Sunshine Aug 31 '19 at 10:12
  • I think there are already posts on this. Probably Rakesh Joshi has posted. @SparkSunshine – Rickross Sep 01 '19 at 05:14
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it is sinful for a girl to marry after puberty

First of all, in accordance with ancient Vedic institutions, girls from respectable families do not "marry" by themselves. They are given through the institution of marriage (kanyaa-daanam) to a suitable bridegroom by elders of the family (specifically the father and mother).

Coming to the point, technically speaking, they (girls) need not perform prayashchitta or atonement. It is the father of the girl as well as the bridegroom that have to perform suitable prayashchittas. Each different kalpa differs in the amount of penance for atonement and that is something that too specific to be stated here.

In general, daanam (donation) of cows (Go-daanam) as atonement for giving one's daughter in marriage after she has reached puberty, is common throughout all schools of the Vedas.

It is however to be noted that this is a very ancient practice that is prevalent in none but very orthodox families only.

Coming to the question; it is not a heinous sin to be married after puberty.

Arunagirinathar
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